On Men and Women.

Manawatu Herald, 26 April 1894, Page 3

On Men and Women.

BY LADY COOK. (Continued). I have spoken of seduction in a somewhat more general sense than the definitions to be found in the dictionary, as applicable to all the attractions which exist between the sexes, or to .that which is exercised by the one over the other. The great fact is one of ignorance. What the world wants is more knowledge of how to do right. The human passions have been found to be terrible forces, like steam or fire, and instead of studying them in order to regulate them in accordance with their own true laws and their adaptation to the world's well being, they have been feared merely, fought down, and repressed. It never became known, therefore, as " seduction." It is a very prevalent opinion that the prompting motive to marriage on the part of men is the mere gratification of the one passion. The truth is, I believe, very much the opposite, and that men seok instinctively, and hope to find, in that relation a true, rational, and spiritual companionship, ns well as material charm ; but, alas ! how often are they di -appointed 1 The woman proves to be a mere doll -a characterless and insipid person. The reality which had enshrined her before marriage is dispersed after a few days or weeks of acquaintance and familiarity. Instead of rising in j the esteem of her husband by the j development of new and grand characteristics, she sinks under his contempt, or palls upon his interest, and he is driven elsewhere in the hope of meeting that companionship in women which the higher instinct of the manly soul constantly, whether consciously omnconsciously, cmves^T- ■ On the other band, her ailly pretence or ignorance, her lack of true sentiment and dignity, her childishness, growing in some of ite many shapes out of the false education Rnd no education which surround this whole subject, aro precisely what disgust and repel men and ruin them. It is another blunder to suppose that it is only women who i get ruined. Women who allow themselves to think that sexuality and prettiness are the only charms they are expected to have, and that it is a disgrace for them to be strong" minded, are sure to wreck their own happiness and that of the man whom they ought to love. I may here answer more than one correspondent by saying that I do not advocate the abrogation or the Amendment of the Marriage Laws as long ai they are needed, as long as there is nothing better, as long as people's ideas are not elevated above the plane of Buch laws. What I advocate is freedom of thought and speech on the subjeot, freedom to devise, better methods; but I mean all this a great deal more with referenoe to opinion than with reference to law. What I want are higher development, better knowledge,^)^ of course, better laws and better institutions to grow out of these. ..There are undoubtedly women who are weak and silly and simple, and who are taken advantage of By designing men. Until we have such systems of education as will tend to prevent women from being weak, simple, and silly, it is undoubtedly right to have" laws punishing seduction with the utmost severity.; ,.„ but we have also, as I think I have shown, ninnies among men, and ought we not therefore to hate laws for their protection ? An Act of ithe Legislature entitled " An Act Jfor the Protection of Ninnies against Designing Women " would b« refreshing, and perhaps logically baled upon the reasons of the laws for tbe protection of female virtue. Indeed, there were at one time laws England speoincally "for the puniihnient of bid women who •tdue'ed the soldiers of the King." Beferring to many cases of female guiefdes Lady Cook writes : — It is j impossible to read these constantlyrecurringT'cases without feeling how chea^jTworaan's honour is held, how iQfHv she is robbed of that which /iscjlaety professes to esteem her passport. Every new seduction blips to destroy the defences of the

virtuous, and thus men frequently profess the cynical and derogator v creed that every woman has her price. This is a" grave reproach to every mother, wife, and daughter in j the land. How frequently do we also hear it remarked, " It's a wise child that knows its own father !" Even respectable mothers smile when this is said, not seeming to realise that it places possible dishonour upon their own fair name. It is not the altar alone that makes sacred the marriage tie. Two people should be married in heart before they go to the altar, for a few words mumbled by a minister, of perhaps questionable righteousness himself, will not make marriage sacred. If women cannot live a proper wedded life without the restraint of the Marriage Law, God help her ! We term that ceremony which binds wealth and title a " holy " marriage. I have more respect for the poor creature who sells herself for a pittance than I have for the woman wha goes to the altar merely to secure position, wealth, and title, without love. This deliberate legalised bartering of the body, under the i cloak of sanctity, without love, is what I most condemn and abhor. If the law inflict a penalty for seduction, it should apply to both sexes alike. In a case now vubjudice I am glad to see that the Magistrate has ordered the girl to be charged with " aiding and abetting." This is a new departure from the execution of the law, but it is at any rate equitable, even if it cannot be sustained. In the latter case it would call attention to the necessity for fresh legislation on this important subject. But we must ever bear in mind that no amount of legislation would make immoral people moral. And it may be questionable whether seduction simply, apart from injury thereby sustained, should be punishable at all, any more than other forms of immorality. It is to improved methods of education, to a more generous and more enlightened training of the young, to the extinction of our national hypocrisy, and above all to the wholesome action of wise parental influences, that we must look rather than to the laws. We are already suffering from overlegislation. We are relying on grandmotherly government instead of the noble freedom of a self-respect-ing people. And until we bettor understand the just limits within which laws should be framed, seduction and other evils will continue to flourish. i