Flotsam and Jetsam.

Manawatu Herald, 4 March 1893, Page 2

Flotsam and Jetsam.

(By Motuiti.) Is the summer really over ♦ Are we not to have any warm weather this year ? The thought occurs to me now, as I sit pen in hand, won- .' dering how I may pass away an hour before going to bed ; for it is noj; yet 11 o'clock and the room iv which I am sitting is cold as an ice-house. Some, people I am told, like cold. Very well. There is no accounting , for tastes, as Satan is said to have remarked once upon a time when he was told that Scotch Presbyterians liked to listen to sermons two hours long I declare honestly there have not been more than two warm days this summer. Over ninety degrees ' in the shade only begins to make a properly hot day. but up to this moment of writing I don't believe that any decent thermometer in Foxton has registered eighty in this year of grace. And yet I have heard men say several times this year, as they were discussing politics at the hotel corners, "My word; I ;; isn't ifc hot ?" Oh; the j.kers 1 But there is time enough yet. '1 his very evening, when it was blowing cold enough to cue your head off, I heard a man in the street say that there is sometimes fine weather in March. By and-hye it may be hotter. Take comfort, fellow-sufferers. There is a hot'er land than ours, not far away. Borne years ago it was my good^ fortune to spend six wseks in Victoria, and during those weeks it wa» hot, burning hot, blazing hot" if you like ! Every night the sun went down wiih a redder and redder face, as if he meant to say, " You thought it was hot this afternoon, did you ? My word ! You see if I don't make it hotter to morrow." And then in the early morning he would rush up with a fiery swoop, and before 8 o'clock the heavens were burning brass, and the air fe t like the breath, oi a furnace. The clouds were deadwhite with heat, and the blinding sun seemed to be everywhere at onoe. *' o realise snch heat you must experience it. We have nothing like it here ; but let me try to give you B<uue.ttQtioa of it,

A hit day in the bush. — Sny at Bullock Ox on the Murray, or Strathdownie East, or anywhere in the ranges. Bush fires ar« blazing like volcanoes over the plains, up on the hills, everywhere. The sky glares down whitely, and the savage sun scorohesnp all moisture and vegetable life with an eye of fire. Birds fall lifeless from the branches before your face. I have seen that Trees, strong and Vigorous in the morning, are withered and dried up without leafjor bud in the evening. Dogs lie panting and lolling out their tongues mijjerably, seeking moisture and finding none ; and seeing that they; are debarred by their constitution from the luxury of ices and long drinks, suffer agonies of torture even worse than men. The wr-atched bullocks do their half-mile an hour with their noses smelling along .the ground for/something with the ghost of dampness in it, toiling miserably in sore distress ; while the drivers are too much done-up to swear in then' customary cheerful way, but curee their cattle in voices almost. inaudible. Ordinary humanity is not in much better plight. It lies at large on sofas, rolls restlessly on floors, sits up chimneys, lounges under verandahs, and says aimlessly from morning till night, at intervals of two minutes, " My Word ! Isn't it hot?" A hot day in the city. — Say Bendigo or Ballarat or Melbourne. Business of every sort is suspended, except where muslin-clad barmaids administer long drinks to feverish souls. Mankind, having got up from its restless couch, tries to eat sonic breakfast, and fails ; tries to smoke, and succeeds indifferently ; goes out to business listlessly, and finds no business afoot — no living thing being able to do anything except flies, fishes, and salamanders ; becomes hotter, more jaded, more feverish ; tries the shady side of the street, and finds it intolerable, for the walls and pavements are smoking and all nature is, like Adam and Eve after the fall, "in a state of sin and misery." At length he meets a mutual friend and in ninety-nine cases but of a hundred the following conversation takes place : " My word ! Isn't it hot ?" "I believe you, old man. It is so. What are you going to shout ? ' And straightway mankind, rushes into the nearest bar, and rejotces. in long-sleeverfl and cool drinks, regardless of consequences. Womankind retires into cellars and shady places, copying with considerable fidelity the cosiunie of our first parent in her staU of innocence, and eats watermelons. " In point of coolness womankind comes off rather better that' inankind^ but is to a more or less extent cranky—and her temper is not to be depended on. ■ *„- • "'■'■'■•'' - ; :■■■••'..•*•. :■ Thank ybu.i ''> I think that will do. I don't f el so^pldffiow, and I am going to bed. (^ffdeit-e-mai, -