Clippings from the Comics.

Manawatu Herald, 24 December 1892, Page 3

Clippings from the Comics.

(From Judy,) a Sam Wellerisras : "This is capital." as the young man whispered when j he kissed his sweetheart for the first c time. " This is labour," he grumbled a six years afterwards, when he found he had to work overtime to support t " his growing family. "I shall stick 8 to my bargain," as the man said t when he discovered that the varnish J' was not dry on the second hand ( s chair that he had picked up cheap. •< An Agreement— with a Difference : " Do you believe in transmigration -of souls, Joe?" " What's that, sir •?" a " Why, for instance, that that cow has had a prior existence in another form perhaps been a being like 1 myself?" " Oh, no doubt the cow's been a calf!" It's of no use to ask a Yankee girl a lyddle, because she guesses everything, j Why is it do rigour for gentlemen to wear chimney-pot hats and no other when they go to church ? Because they all like to take a nap there, I suppose ! (From Fun.) Good for a Run — Tramp : Beg pardon, yer 'onuer ! But could you do anythink to 'elp two pore fellers on a bit ? Farmer : My whip to your backs, and my hound at your heels, would make you spin along', I think. Fooling Him—He : The only advantage I know in being thought a wit by ths world is that it gives one the greater advantage in playing the j fool. She : Then you must be j thought a very great wit by the ! world, George. (From Piek-Me-Up.) He Apologised : It happened in a : railway carriage. There was a well- ! dressed gentleman and his wife on one side, and opposite to them an ! exceedingly garrulous Irishman, whose language for some time had been visibly irritating both the lady I t and her husband. At last something j \ a trifle stronger than usual provoked j j the sufferer to ask the Hibernian, j " How dare you, sir, swear before a j lady ?" " Och, shure," replied the ; raady-witted one, •' I apologise, yer j _ honour ; how could I tell the lady was wantin' to swear fursht ?" People who honour tbeiu fathers and their mothers have 'the comfort- , ing promise that their days shall be long in the land. They are not sufficiently numerous to mate the life assurance companies think it rj worth their while to offer them special rates. A clergyman, arriving on the station platform just as the train was starting, is hurriedly pushed c into the carriage, and on the guard j inquiring, "Any luggage, sir?" he , ihouted, "Yes, a rag and a bug," meaning, ot course, a rug and a bat?. i The compartment was full, no one ( could help bursting out into loud f laughter, in which the clergyman, j after a good blush, heartily joined. „ (From Scraps.) 1 A laughing philosopher says, "If * Galileo had only stood a champagne I tapper to his judges, he would soon i have convinced them that the world ] went round." J Patriotic— Mrs Cassidy : "Half j a pound o' tay, sorr, if ye plase." Grocer : " Yes ma'am. Black or green ?" ' Mrs Cassidy (enthusiastically) : " Green ! in honour av Ould Oir eland! 1 ' Contradictory — This is the road to Cork, is it not ?" asked a countryman of a Quaker he met. " Friend," wap the reply, "first you tell me a lie and then aslr a qnesMnn." '