Texas Sittings.

Manawatu Herald, 15 October 1892, Page 2

Texas Sittings.

A TStUTHFUL HUSPA.ND. Wife : What time did you get in last night, John ? Husband : Two o'clook, my dear. Wife : Were were you ? Husband: At work at the office, my dear. Wife : That's right, John ; never tell a lie. (To the servant), Mary take Mr Brown's shoes off the mantelpiece and get his latchkey out of the clock and put it in his pocket. SHOET AND SWEET. Sleight of hand: Eefusing a marriage offer. The proper place for undressed kid is in the bath-tub. A cant in your pocket ig worth two on your handkerchief. Have you ever heard a parrot swear ? No, but I've seen a oro cus. Even when a ship parts with her anchor, she still keeps her hold. The male voice a girl likes to hear, the one with a "ring" in it. 'Tis strange that we should have fresh eggs as the result of a fowl habit. If any boat can shoot the rapids successfully, we should think it would be the gunboat. Two heads are better than one especially for a man who wants to go round the country with a cirous. We have a friend who ig such a strict vegetarian that he refused to eat kidney-beans. PATHETIC. A little hand he held And squeezed it, oh, so tight, While his proud bosom swelled With hope and fond delight. And yet a moment more And hope began to fade, Four diamonds bright he saw, The fifth card was a spade. HUSBAND AND WIFE. (Meteorological Item.) He ; Do you know that you reminded me of the weather f She : In what respect ? He : You are to changeable. She : Is that so ? Do you know that I don't see the least resemblance between you and the weather? ■/■'.. He : You don't say so. She : You are certainly not like the weather. You know the weather is bright oocassionally— you never are. THE POLICEMAN KNEW BETTER. Policeman : Gome down out o' that, young feller. - Reporter ; But I'm a reporter and I want to get a description of the fire. Policeman : To the devil wid you. You oan't stay there, You kin find out all about the fouir from the papers in the morning.