Paget, M.P.

Manawatu Herald, Volume III, 7 March 1891, Page 3

Paget, M.P.

« (Mudyard Kipling) Paget, M P. , was a liar, and a fluent liar therewith — He spoke of the heat of India as the " Asian Solar Myth ; " Came on a four months visit, to " study the East," in November, And I got him to sign an agreement, vow-. ing to stay till September. March came in with the koil. Paget was cool and gay, Called me a- >ioatel Brahmin," talked of my " pniicely pay." March went out with the roses. " Where is your heat ?" says he. •• Coming." says Ito Pagett. " Skittles !" says Pagett, M.P. April began with punkah, coolies and prickly-heat, — Pagett was dear to mosquitoes, sandflies found him a treat. He grew speckled and lumpy — hammered, I grieve to say, Aryan brothers who fanned him, in an illiberal way. May set in with a dust-storm. — Pagett went down with the sun. AH the delights of the season tickled him one by one. Imprimis— ten daya "liver"— due to his drinking beer ; Lat«r, a dose of fever— slight, but he called it severe. Dyientry touohed him in June, after the Chota Bursat— Lowered his portly person — made him yearn to depart. He didn't call me a "Brahmin," or •' bloated," or " overpaid," Bat seemed to think it a wonder that any one ever stayed. July was a trifle unhealthy,— Pagett was ill with fear, Called it the " Cholera Morbus," hinted that life was dear. He babbled of " eastern exile," and men tioned his home with tears ; But I hadn't seen my children for close upon seven years.' We reached a hundred and twenty once in the Court at noon, (I've mentioned Pagett was portly) Pagett went off in a swoon. This was an end of the business ; Pagett, the perjured, fled With a practical, working knowledge of " Solar Myths " in his head. And I laughed as I drove from the station, but the mirth died out on my lips. As I thought of the fools like Pagett who write of their " Eastern trips," And the sneers of the travelled idiots who duly misgovern the land ; / nd I prayed to the Lord to deliver another one into my hand.