Scissors.

Manawatu Herald, Volume III, Issue III, 27 December 1890, Page 3

Scissors.

Robinson Ontsoe : ' " Well Friday .what have, we : for dinner to-day ? Friday: '/.Goat soup, goat chops, boiled goat, roast goat?" — Robinson Crnsoe : "'ilon'tFriday ;1 can't #r>'i !" A Persian lady, walking in the street, observed a man following Inn-, and turning round, inquired ..of him, " Why do you follow me sir '?' ' l ie answered, ■•'"'Because 1 am in live with you." " Why are you in love with me ?"; said the lady ; my si.sier is much handsomer than J ; sho is coming after me — go and make love to her." The fellow went bnck\ and saw a woman- with an exceed ngly ugly face, upon which he at once went after the lady and said to her, " Why didyou tell me what was not true ?" " did yon speak the truth" answered she ; "for if you were really -in love with' ■ me you would not ji^te' turned to see a riot Im 1 wbman.'.'; I .';^' ./. / Catching tjie Train.— -.", Put down j room No; 2j"Ho be called' in time for [ the 4."30 train in.. the. moaning;" he said,' as lie 'leaned gracefully over towards the night clerk of a Mississippi hotel. < ; ** Case of life and death ?" inquired the plerk. " Why no ! But I want to get to Jackson before noon. 5 '- " Hadn't you better wait for the .9.80 train ?'" " What is it to you?" Nothing, but the excitement and muss-^and I shall probably . have to testily at the coroner's incjuest." " I—l don't exactly catch' on;" " Come upstairs please." When he had ascended to the first sleeping-floor, the clerk contimied-^." This is room No 28, as you see. There are five btillet holes in the dbqi'— -nihiiiisliere last week who wanted to be called for that early train . Room No. SOOias seven bullet -holes, but those stand' for two men. This new piece in the carpet here is where two men fell and bled to death. Down here— " ..." But who kills off these •gusets; ?" asked the tray eller. " Oh, the other guests ! As soon' as the nigger comes up, and knocks, and bawls out, Colonel Shaw, who has room No. -'82, ; reaches for his shot gun. ■ Over in No. 29 Judge Havens slips out >vith"his revolver. Major Brooks, who is in No. 88, always comes in aygood third with a Devringerjfthd'^he rest of the. fellows airing! .the , liill- are 'always .'more or less wellheeled. '. We don't care so much about'Hhe nigger, as niggers are ntight^^lieap: round here; but there must be an inquest ion the body of the white man, and— -" "Did IsSy call me for the 4.30 train?' qifefted the traveller. *• I believe so.'-*- Then it is a mistake. I'm in nq jhurry. In fact, I like Mississippi .ami this town in particu^vr^and even if I get away at 9.80 I shall be. sorry to go. Just rub oiijtftlie memorandum, and if I don'J; get-up in time for breakfast, you need^'i o mind sending a nigger up to poimd/on" the door." It was- Jenkins' wedding-day, and he was teasing . his ..little brother-in-law. • i : j... . ,.. ... " Well,. Johnnie," he said solemnly ." I'm going- to take your sister away off andhayeiher all to myself,' where ' you won't see her any more.!'; L " No, ..really,. are.:you *?" asked the ( youngster .curiously.; " " Yes,l ; .am. What do you think "of it?" „.,• . j " Nothing; I. can stand it : if you can," ■ . ■ ■■■ • i -