A Teetotal Dinner.

Manawatu Herald, Volume III, 20 May 1890, Page 2

A Teetotal Dinner.

. » *■ (Broadbrim ) The boys have been on a broad giin a'l the week at the dinner Coloixl lliot F. hopherd gave the toughs of the different ward associations at the Union Club on Tuesday evening, March 4th : Th«

colonel is a recognised leader o£ the BW a low tails He is known as the leading Cbjistain editor of New York— that is, among profane and kicked papers like the World, the Herald, the Mm, and the limes. Not a day goes by but iv the first column of the editorial pajre of the Mail and Express a text can bo found appealing •to the wicked to forsake their ways and subscribe for the Mail and Express, not that tho colonel cares a fig about thoir mosey but because he knows the Mail and Express would do them good. No scrapping match or dog fight finds a place in its columns. It has no need of a fighting editor, for its ways are the vrays of peace except when it goes for the Democrats, and then stand from under. Every one af the 'staff is supposed to be a Clhristain member in good standing. The Colonel had a po itical string to pull for Mayor, so for the time being he sunk his dignity and went in with the boys. The roast beef arid the canvas back ducks were splendid. The boys did not know what the pate de/ois was, but they gobbled it down all the same, and got oil nicely till Denny Shea got dry : the waiter poured out a glass of Appollinaris, and penny thought it was a delicate kind of wine. To show the Colonel that he appreciated his hospitality, he opened his gullet wide and took a big swallow ; he jumped from the table, and thought he Was poisoned, for its was many a day since co d water, unqualified, had gone down that thirsty throat. The Colonel is a strict temperance man, and cou d not c nsistently affor 1 his guest the only possible relief. ,An Irish waiter, one of Den* nys constituents, took the ease in at a glance and hurrying downstairs to the bar got a presciption from a bottle marked, "O. R , 1846," and, dragging Denny behind the door out of the sight of the Colonel, gave him a swa.low of something that undoubtedly saved his life. Mike Fiyrin, of the sixth Ward, says " the dinner was a diabo'ic plot to poison all the leaders, and dat any f ellar dat ud ax a lot of gentlemums tro grub mid him and den ax em to soak dere clay wid water, is a shump and don't know what decent politics is." One thing is pretty certain, and that is that the Colonel will never catch the ward leaders again at a Union ( lub dinner. Barney Biglin may lose his district be auseon© of his const tuens saw him in a swa'low tale coat and a c can shirt. His only chance of escaping is denying < hi& identity.

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