A Curious Trade

Manawatu Herald, Volume III, Issue III, 11 April 1890, Page 2

A Curious Trade

There is a davk, duskyloaking shop in the most respectable portion of Lamb's Conduit-street Larab's ConduiUtreet, although only a few hundred yards long, is a street of very varied character. One^ end is made dull and respectable by the presence of a cab-rank and the Foundling Hospital. The other end ig guarded by a large fruiterer's and a grocer's, and busy. Theoba'ds road gives it a comme"cial aspect. Midway between the two, stands the shop I have, mentioned ; and it oorabineg tha character of b6tU t>nds of the street iv being a resort for human woes based upon business' principles. It might bea Verbalist's, but it isn't ; oritmigHt be? the haunt of a. chemist who had abandoned patent medicines for scientific re* search". Real yit vr\ anaestablishment where new noses a**e changed for old ones ; where too forward youig ears (or old) are. ' set back ; and where the human faoe and form are made symmetrical. Mr Boss, the proprietor of the nose machip« and ear machine, the inventor of a' complexion pi! 1 , »nd the posseisor of a recipe before which the red nose of the bibulous man pales its in-* effectual fires. I paw Mr Boss the other day. He ig a great student at beauty. H« has written a novel having beauty for its theme, »nd he has also written a play, but tho latter bung fire. I asked whaV was the latest of his inventions ?

"The plumpers," said Mr Boss " They ore made to fix io •ocb oheek for filling out boVow pho^s. •f course, they are like arkifteial teatli and have Übe g»t used to. They are th« exact colour of the gums, and are about the size of a shilling. The shape is usually round, but oval ones are made.

" What about the nope maohino ? Do yon find its sale increasing.

Do you sell a hundred a year now ?

" A hundred a year !" ejaculated Mr Boss, con emptuouajy '• "Why, we soil- thousands. A good many go to America and more to the provinces. Of coursH we don't sell many to the poorer ohss^s because bulf a guinea is ft consideration v/ith them.

" And you really claim that it alters the shape of , the nose ?". I " About an hour dailj, lor a month j will do it. People usually . werir them at night. One gentleman travelled in his all, t!ie way , f .'om Northampton, and rather s.ir^risefl the waiters at the Inns of Court Hotel. It is true," added Mr Rom, half apologetically, "he was a little wrong in his head." I should thiafc ' tfo ! Why, tha waiters could not have been more surprised if the Mail in the " Iron Mask had turned up and allied for • bed. For the weare? of • nose machine looks very peculiar 1 . It is two strips of metal, curved, and is screwed on eabh side of the nose. The convex side of the machine '<■ is placed near the. faoe; anil;: the machine i« not used on any pntt eif the nose but the e*id Thus if the tip wants aho;tening» you pot on thn machine, pres* the tip down, and screw the manhme up. This *hortening business is aided sometimes by an astringent. " Some .people's noses," Mr Boss adm tted, " a> c vprv diffloult to d^al with ; flabby ones especially. We sell lot of no^e machines to black gentleman. They admire the English nose more than their own»''<

Then there is the eat machine. This is merely a bit of sprung steel, so shaped as to come down over, the ears and press'tbembaek when they stand ont too prdminently. The shnp has a cuno'is ' attra'o^on for women* They will walk up and down for half an hour sometimes, '00V ing furtively into, th^ window •very/ time tliey pass. If flny body is the sliop sees a face on^idfl several times he . knows the owner will enter soon. In fact;, Mr l?oss of en stands there waiting for shy customers, wh m he knows will torn in ev«ntnallv.