WIT AND HUMOUR

Manawatu Herald, Volume III, Issue 73, 13 May 1881, Page 4

WIT AND HUMOUR

Not Correct. — Deacon Richard I Smith's Cincinnati Gazette says that "womon dress too hastily, and that " the modistes decline that women should take more time to put on their garments." Deacon Smith, you just want to have to wait for a woman to get ready to yo to that train in order to get over such notions.— Boston Post. One hoar after an " old master " had painted the name of a patent medicine on a big rock a cow came along, licked it off, and died before sundown. When the simple name of a medicine kills a cow, human beings want to beware of the stuff itself. A cow was never killed by licking the name off a patent medicine in a newspaper, and no other kindjean be recommended A poet sings : " I write because 1 must— and not for praise." That is what ails us, too. We write because we must. Praise' won't buy boots and bread and beef. A great many poets, however, write not for praise but for the waste basket. Not Crowded Out.— A Galveston poet came into the sanctum hurriedly with a copy of the News in his hand, and going up to the editor remarked,: " I did not notice my little pbem on the 'Golden Tints of Eipiring Autumn.' I suppose it was crowded out." "No; it was crowded in." "I don't see it." " Look in the waste paper basket. That's where it was crowded in."— Galveston News. : A Murray Hill New York girl has had one of her shapely feet modelled in marble, and has presented it as a birthday present to her affianced husband for ft'paper weight. A St. Louis girl dia the same thing, but the unsesthetio creature to whom she is to be united heartlessly utilised the gift as a foundation for his new residence. " How shall I have my new bonnet trimmed?,' aakid Maria, "so that it will agree with my complexion ?" " If you want it to match your face have it plain," replied the hateful Harriet. Among the wedding presents re^ ceived by a Philadelphia bride was a note froni her father's counsel agree* if ing to conduct her divorce suit free of Ifcpha^. This may not look exactly Btepropriate, but it proves that there Wratleast one good-hearted' lawyer.— rPHMelpiiia GKrbniete.