ANECDOTE3 OF ACTOES.

Manawatu Herald, 14 January 1879, Page 3

ANECDOTE 3 OF ACTOES.

Dicky Suext, going once to dine about twenty miles from London, %nd being able' only '.to secure |an outside place on the coach, arrived at hip destination in such a bedrag* g!ed state from the incessant rain, and so muffled up in great coats and * handkerchiefs/ that his friend in - quired doubtingly, " Are you Suett ?'' 41 No," replied the wag, "I'm dripping !" When John Reeve was playing " Bombastes Furioso," at .Bristol, upon being stabbedby Artaxominous, he denied the fairness of the thrust, and, api>ealing to the pit, said, '* ie is not fair* is it ?" A bald-headod genllflnjau, who probably took the whole* representation to be serious, .and to wh»m Reeve directed his glance,rose and said timidly, "Really, sir, I cannot say. I do not fence myself." When Keeley wa? manager of the Brincesß*Theatre, he was telling a funny story in the greenroom one morning, at which evory member of the company laughed heart ily, save; one. fie gravely remarked, "I shan't laugh— l'm going to "One day "Funny Joe Haines," as he was caUed,|^s^a£Wfejed by two bailiffs foi a.^tdOT.^^feiity pounds just as the BJ£hjtf£o£lftyWas Biding past. Quoth Joe to the Bailiffs, "Gentlexnan, Nereis my cousin, the Bishop of Ely ; let me but speak a word to him and he will pay the debtand costs-" The bishop ordered his carriage to stop, while Joe whimpered close to his ear, "My lord, here are a couple of Waverers, who have such terrible scruples of consciigijce thfcfclfear they^will hhrnvthim. selves." "JYery well," replied tno bishop • and, calling to the men he said, " Aly"*gb6d fellows, call upon me tp mprrom r an,d. A; will -satisfy j&&**Vfal}}Glm towed and went their way. Joe, delighted with his device, went his way also. In tho morning the Bailiffs repaired to the bishop's house. *' Weil*- my. good man/ '-said 'his revererice'j 'Srhat ate your scruples of conscience ?"' '• Serupieß 1" said one" of lihem, ' " we have no scuples; we are bailiffs, my lord, who yestexdey arrested your cousin, Joe Haines, for twenty pounds. Your lordship promised to satisfy us to-day, rand we*hdpe you'^vili be as good aa your w.ord." . The bishop, to prevent' any seatdal toliis name, immediately, paid the debt and costs. A Matter of Taste.- - Tippling. Pexijlkthat&o to Pot.— Gardeners. Good itfabe " for v r .Ohiro^ odists, % -j Ambng^ : 'Corhisn men. \ DyeasiiQakercan Boast. — "I'm engaged to sew and. sew." Take av^ay*womanand what woulcf folft)^?— Tne^ri: Another Natural History Fact. — * One swallow doesn't make a spring, : button* blacksmith can. Put This in" an Incubator^— The question is asked whether poachmg. eggs can be considered sportsman-: like^betaviour. : ■? •