A MODEL LOVE LETTER.

Manawatu Herald, Volume I, Issue 37, 3 January 1879, Page 2

A MODEL LOVE LETTER.

Breach of promise cases usually prqduq^ laughter, especially prhen the lov^ fcltjfcfe>' c are road is the risibility- of the court excited*. - We have been favoured from a thoroughly trustworthy source. with a Jotter which waft • not read the other day wlfori a case for broach was tried. Hud it been perhaps t|ie damages given by the jury would havo been more than they were— was,, £500. We, print the epistle more as ajvjutfting than an exuraplo. It ran thus :— Mv Deau Miss M.,— Kvery timo I think of you my heart flap* up and down like an excitod eel ia a Ume«ba»ket. Sensations of uuutternble joy oapor through it liko young ktttona oa au outhouse roof, 'and | thrill through it liko brokau *bdttles on the ! top of a garden wall through the tight trou- | sera of the nceturaul thief. As a gosling swimmeth in a mud-puddle, so swim I in a soa of glory. Visions of ecstatic rapture thicker than the hairs of a blacking bruih, and brighter thuntho eyes of a humming bird 1 * pinions, visit me in my slumber«, aud borne on their iuvisi le wings, your imago stands b»fore mo, and I reaoh out to grasp It, like a pointor snapping at a blue-bottle fly. When £ first beheld your tragelio perferfec- ; tions I was bewildered, and. m^ bnua . whirled round like a buiablV bee under a gjasa tumbler. My eye* a tool open like tht> doom ia a: country toWu, and I lifted np my earn to outoh the nilv.;ry accents of your voice. My tonguo refused to wag, and in silent adoration I drank in the uweet inf<,c(ion of love, as a thirsty man nwulloweth - a tumbler of iced lemonade aud sherry. Since tho light of your face fell upon ivy lif o I seaiotiines feel us if I could lift myself ' : up by my baot jack to tbo top of the church steeple and pull the bell rope for morning sohool. Di»v and uigut. you are in my thoughts. When Aurora, blushing like a bride rises from her saffron-oolouroJ eouqh ; wheu the sparrow pipes his tuneful' lay in the applj tree, whei the ohauti rider's shrill " clarion heraldi the ooiuiutf iujru r when the ai|Bkening pig arisua from his bed. and gtuatetli, ana ifoeth from Ink "mbruiug t«* fredhmeuts, when tho drowsy beetle wheels to droning flight at sultry noontide, and' when the lowing herd come homo at milk-

iug tlini'j, I iltiuk of thoe j and like a. pi <v of gut 1 1 p<T"lia my he svt se ma stre(oh< d clear itoiMha my bo«oin. Your lviii' i* li!;e tlio miitie of a oh «tmit horse powdero-1 wiih jfold ; and the bra*n jims" skewered through your wat> r;ull fill irie with uuboutldoil awj. Your t'or.hond is stnootluT than tue elbow of an ol 1 con I Your eyes nro glorious to behol 1. In their yjia^td depth* I see legions of little Cupi s ijb;«hi>isr, Ika a cohort of nuts in nu oM Wtlliugton boot Wheu their riivht up v my manly breast, it peuotrate t my vhulauutomy, as a charge of bird shot through a rotten applo. Your noso is fro: a a blouk of Parian raaiblo. and your mouth ip puckered with sweetness. Neefca* 1 lingere on your lips like honey on a bear's paw ; and myriads of unfledged kisses are there ready to fly out and light somewhere, like young birds out of their parents* nest. Youi lau^h tings in my ears like the jew's-harp's strain, or tho bleat of the stray lamb on thasblcak hillside. The dimples on your cheeks are like bowers in beds of roses, or hollows in tho puffy paste of apple-pie.". I am dying to fly to thy presence and pour ont the burniuar eloquenoe of my love, as thrifty housewives pour out hot coffee. Away from you I am as melancholy as a sick rat. Often I can hear the cockchafers of despondency bnzzing in my cars, and feel the cold lizards of despair crawling down my back. Uncouth fears lil'e a thousand minnows, nibble at my spirits, and my soul ifl^piercecl with doubts, like an old cheese is bored with mites. My love for you isratronger than the smell of Battered mud butter, or the kick of a young cow, and more unselfish than a kitten's first caterwaul. As a song bird bankers for the light of day, the cautious mouse for the toasted cheese in the trap, as a lean pup hankers for new milk, so I long for thee. You are fairer than a ppeokled Dorking hen, sweeter than a raspberry tart fried in treacle, brighter than the plumage on the head of a Muscovy duck, You nro brandy and water with lots of sugar in it. If these few iemarks will enable you to ees the inside of my soul, and me to win yonr affections, I shall be a* happy as a wood-pecker on a cherry-tree, or a coachhorso in a green pasture. If you cannot reciprocate my thrilling passion, I will pine away like* a poisoned flea, and fall away from a flourishing vine of life, an untimely branch ; and in coming years, when the shadows' grow from the hills, and the philosophical frog sings his cheering evening hymns, you, happy in another's love, can come and drop a tear and catch a cold upon thejtort resting- placo of yours, affectionately. . ' H. The^efdiet should have been £1,000 at £h,9:yfcry least.