BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXIV, Issue 5, 6 January 1900, Page 3

BRIEF MENTION.

Cooi>, pleasant weather. A contrast to the excessive heat m Aui tnlia jDBt now. A Civil servant has embezzled Btam moneys to the extent of £1169. Wha name? Heavy bash fires are raging m aom parta of the Auckland district, and valaabl Kauri timber destroyed. At Hastings ol r^w Year's Day tb thermometer registered lOOdeg m the shade A horse fell down m the Btreet from th efleots of the heat. A hailßtotm m Cbriatohurob oo Thura day morning. Not likely to die of he* apoplexy down there. New Zealand boys doing well m Soatl Afrioa. Given the opportunity, they'l make ft uamo for themselves. Twenty • five prohibition orders wen granted m Blenheim m the year 1899. A good illustration of the class of peopli who bo overflow with patriotism that the] would " epill the last drop of their brother'i blood" to prove their loyalty and devotioi to their ootmtry m the present war orieia it well given by " Woomera' m the Austra lasian :— 11 Bo they want to Bind a busbman's eon to Afriby ?" Baid Murphy, as he read to his oomrader m the men's quarters the loyal offers of aßßistanoe m The Argus. " Ye oan't bate them down m Milburn fox ginerasity. Have they not eed that on; wan uv us who hae a good horse may give U widout been Bzed to pay it's train fare tc the oity ? They only want five hundred ay us to go en' be shot, but they would be willin 1 to sind a towaan ay ns if we're wanted. An' here we ere the lot ay us, while ivery man m the oity is ebowin' his loyalty by wantin 1 to Bind somebody else, not Btirrin' a fiDgei to help an the gloryus wurr. " Shame be on ue, Hooligan, ivery buefa son ay us. Let us be up an 1 doin', an 1 Bhow that our hearts are m the cause if we aren't m it onisilve. Let us afier to 'do somethin'. 11 I'm willin' to sind the Mayor ay Milburn richly oaparisbund on wan a? bis own carriage horses ; I'm willin 1 to give Donald Melville's screw to the pathriotio fun' as long as the war continues, an' after if naids be. " We might call a maitin' an' pass a reeylooshnn afferin' a oraok — no, not oraoked— core of newspaper idithurs, re* porthurs, et hog ganius hominy, for sarvioe agin the Boers, Bn' may the lard have meroy an their sowls, "Then, there be Parlymint. What a divilish fine core they'd make, I'm thinkin.' It's the most deadly wippon we've got to offer, an* it nd be unpathriotio for us to kape it whin jooty calls." The inoome from the Monte Carlo gaming tables for the past year reaches over £1,500,000. In Mexiao sobool children are allowed to smoke m school hours when their leaaonß are well prepared. A few weeks ego the E>upp faotory turned out its twenty-ehoasandfb large gan for European armies. "Isn't your husband a bit dyspeptic* ?" " I rather think he is ; I kaow be always disagrees with his meals." " Only one of her Majesty's Ministers is a total abstainer 1" Who is thiß Temperance ewe lamb ? aeks the Westminster Gazette. Heard over the baok-yard fenoe m the East Ward : — " Oi say, Mrs Maloney, have you had a soight of Mrs Blake's new baby ; it's a rale peach ?" " No, bat Oim thinkin Biake will be moighty plaaed that it's not a pair." The Turk was originally a Tartar, with a noea as flat as that of the Hun, a reoeding ohm and equint eyes, but by amalgamation with the nations he bae conquered he has elevated his nose, straightened his eyes, and brought bis obin into a prominence more beooming than it w»b before. Little Boy (to nigger woman): "Aunt Martha, was that baby of yours raised on the bottle ?" " Yaae, obile ; why ?" " Well, it mußt have been an ink-bottle." Twenty-four carat gold ib all gold; 22 oarat gold has 22 parts of gold, 1 of silver, and 1 of copper; J8 carat gold, has 18 parts of pure gold and 3 parts each of Bilvor and copper m its composition ; 12 oarat gold ie half gold, the remainder being made up of 3§ parts of Biiver and 8$ parts of copper. Too Literal.— The Editor : " Your poems bear merit but they are not up to date. Write them on something that is before the people's eyes." Too Poet: "I tried that, but could find nothing to rhyme with spectacles." • It Might Have Been Worse.— ln a golf competition at Maobrihamisb, BBid by some enthusiasts to be the fioest oourse m the world, one Scotsman of the party, a man of optimistio temperament, always remarked : " It might have been waur," whenever he put the ball into a peculiarly difficult bunker. His irritated partner determined to rouse Maonab from his imperturable serenity, and said to him, when next they played: " Maonab, I dreamed last night you were m Hell." "It might have been waur," oama the reply, pat. " How waur ?" Baid the Englishman. "It might have been true," replied Maonab ; " I might have been there."

tery of four Viokers's 12^-inch guns, manned by the Honourable Artillery Company, the oldest volunteer comB . pany m England. Fieid-Marshall Lord Roberts, the p new Gommander-in-Chief m South lt Africa, lately asked that a number of additional officers on special service ie be sent to the Gape. Iei c Capetown, Janaary 4. Lieut-Colonel Pilcher'a advanoe ie from Belmont to Sunnyside was „ oovered by a movement of a portion ,g of Lieut- General Lord Methuen's oavalry from the camp beyond Modder 3 . River. L j The foroe operated to the northward of the infantry, and thus preh vented the Boers from sending reinU forcements to Sunnyside, or seeking to intercept the withdrawal of the c inhabitants from Douglas.