Essays on Social Subjects. BY A LADY.

Marlborough Express, Volume III, Issue 132, 22 August 1868, Page 3

Essays on Social Subjects. BY A LADY.

No. Ill—ON “NOTHING AT ALL.” Mystruious Nothing 1 how shall I define Thy shapel ss, htSelessi, piacties-i emptiness ? Nor lorm, nor color, sound, not size, are thine. Nor words, nor tinkers, can thy voice express. But though we cannot thee to aught compare, A thousand things to thee may likened be ; And though thou ait with nobody, nowhere. Yet halt mankind devote themselves to thee. How many nooks thy history contain. How many heads thy mighty plans pursue. What lab’ring hands thy portion only gain. What busy-bodies thy doings only 00. To ,hee, the g'eat, the p'Oiul.the giddy bend. And—like my sonnet—all in Nothing end.” - Parson. “ Nothing at all !” I hope, my dear reader, that the unattractive subject I have chosen will notdeteryou from giving it a few minutes perusal. “ Nothing at all ” certainly contains a very empty meaning ; yet it has its own place—its own little bit of importance like the rest of us. My present self-imposed task is to try and convince you that “Nothing at all” is something after all. Like Paddy, when, he counted “me and mesilf are two, he was a long time before he could see it, but it dawned upon him at last, as will, I hope, the truth of my observations. We have all heard of “ I don’t care,” and what became of him? In my opinion, “Nothing at all ” is just such another character ; if he do not meet with the same fate, he has unquestionably as much to answer for. “Nothing at all ”is one of the “ white lies” of society, which is too frequently told by us all. When a gentleman has the misfortune to step on a lady’s dress, and a rent is the consequence, he is assured with the sweetest smile imaginable that it is “Nothing at all,” and he goes on his way rejoicing in the amiability of the opposite sex. Oh !if he could but hear the inward exclamations of the lady—- “ Awkward idiot! 1 believe he did it on purpose,” he would soon be disenchanted, unless like the offended fair one, he would sweetly smile it away as “ Nothing at all!” Perhaps it would be better for us all, if we were more willing to smile away the faults and foibles of our neighbours, but such a state of perfection is scarcely to be attained by our contradictory natures, and therefore useless to discuss through the present medium. The lady who had her dress torn, of course, has to replace it by another," so she sets out on a shopping expedition. The persevering shopman assures her that this is “much the best article, quite new, and only a 'few shillings more, and that you know is ‘Nothing at all’ to you Ma’am.” The lady cannot resist this little insinuation, so she decides upon the “quite new” article. The shopman seeing his advantage, has a whole army of “Nothings at all” on hand, which he introduces as only his kind know how. The bill comes in—alas ! to papa these little “ Nothings at all” present a formidable aspect; and now look out for grunts, growls, groans, threats of retrenchment, and the dismal cry of “No funds,” probably followed by an attack of the gout! What lady has the hardihood to declare this “ Nothing at all ?” A gentleman enters a lady’s drawing-room with muddy boots, and she is almost compelled to say to his many apologies, and to sustain her dignity as hostess—“Oh! pray don’t mind it;” it is “ Nothing at all ” —at the same time she is wishing him a thousand miles away. “Nothing at all,” as we have it here, is simply a want of What shall I say ? A want of courage—of truth. Why can’t we do away with this artificial politeness, and say, “ Mr. So-and-So, I like you very much, and feel very pleased to see you; but I don’t keep a servant, and I strongly disapprove of cleaning up after anybody ” But no ! It is one of the laws of society, in its present enlightened state, that truth is to be sacrificed to politeness, and the sacrifice of such truth is generally considered “Nothing at all,” and shews clearly the cowardice and nothingness of our natures. Now let us listen to the conversation of the abovementioned lady and her daughter, after “Mr. So-and-So” has left. “Well, Alice dear ! What do you. think of Mr. So-and-So.” “Oh! I don t know, mamma ! He’s not a bad sort of fellow, but there’s ‘ Nothing at all ’ in him.” This may be said with truth of a great many of the Colonial gentlemen (of course we except those of Blenheim); they have generally more outside their heads than they have in them, and as for hearts —well, they have a faint idea what they are like in shape, from the conversational lollies and little fancy biscuits, but this is about all they do know. That from the heart spring good feelings and right principles is an unheard of fact, and quite uninteresting to them when it is placed before their notice. I daresay many of them would vote your present correspondent a “ bawr,” but that’s “Nothing at all,” and about as important to me as they are to the world in general. Just spend an hour or two with some of these, curled up, highly perfumed would-be irresistible representatives of the juvenile canine race, and Cowper’s lines at once occur to us—

“ Words learn’d by rote a parroi may rehearse. But talking is not always to c m> erse.” Sum up the total of all that they have said, and it comes most forcibly under the head of our subject, “Nothing at all." As a little bit of consolation for gentlemen whom -the cap may fit, I will submit that they may find in many of the colonial ladies, suitable companions for them ! But then, you know, we are not supposed to cultivate brains, and hearts; therefore, to find us without, is “Nothing at all.” Suppose we just pop our heads inside the back parlour of the usual resort of commercial men, and listen to them discussing a brother laborer. “ I say, is’nt it astonishing how Jones has got on in the world, why he commenced with ‘ Nothing

at all.”’ Humph.! So a clear head, unimpaired energies, and a proper and profitable use of them is “Nothing at all.” But you see Mr. Jones made Something out of them, as we learn from, the above remark, and we should be fully convinced of the fact, could we but see him with his toes on his fender, surveying his comfortable surroundings. Yet, when we calmly and fairly look into it, what after all, is this mighty struggle for wealth and aggrandisement ? Ask Mr. Jones—when a few years later we find him stretched on his death-bed —ask him then, and he will tell us with truth and energy, “ Nothing at all !”

“Nothing at all,” insignificant as he appears, will get the upper-hand of us if we seek to ignore his existence. One small boy accosted another the other day, with “I say Bill Higgins, your mothers agoin’ to give it yer, if yer don’t make haste home. ” The small individual who gloried in the euphonious appellation of Bill Higgins, put his hands in his pockets, and with an unnecessary attempt to exalt a small boy, replied, “Booh, that’s “Nothing at all.” And so with us ; we may go on pooh-poohing the “ Nothings at all,” until, like Bill Higgins, we find our-: selves laid low at the end of our journey. There is one thing in which we are very apt to do this; and that is our health ; we catch a slight cold,and try to pooh-pooh it away as “Nothing at all,” till it becomes a very serious matter, to say “ Nothing at all” of the doctor’s bill. I think the best way is to treat this “Mr. Nothing at all,” as we would anyothersuspicious looking stranger, who would persist in intruding upon our notice. Turn him round, survey him from all quarters, enquire into his parentage, and from whence he sprang. In the event of our not being able to elicit any satisfactory information, give him a wide berth. He will poke his nose into all our dwellings, but don’t get familiar with him, unless it be on the principle of “ familiarity breeds contempt.” Condemn him to the same punishment as “ I don’t care” had to suffer, and we shall rid ourselves of a dangerous acquaintance. I will not trespass any longer on your time just now. If my few remarks have failed to afford you either amusement or instruction, it is my misfortune and not my fault, therefore I trust you will put it down to “ NOTHING AT ALL.” Q. Blenheim, August 20th, 1868.