WRINKLES PICKED UP AT COURT.

Marlborough Express, Volume III, Issue 113, 18 April 1868, Page 4

WRINKLES PICKED UP AT COURT.

. j; “A duel's araang ye, talcin' notes, And, faith, he’ll prent it.” — Burns. ■ 1 Mr. Editor, — Weary of loafing about the . Corner, it occurred to me the other day, to ' go inside the R.M.’b Court, and see what - new observations on men and things might 'be acquired there. I assure you that I •fqundit very interesting, especially' now hiye two lawyers, although the mode foif 'proceeding was rather slow in consef quenoe of the practice pursued, of reducing •' oyeiything said to writing ; a plan, which has at least one advantage, since it allows r .a witness time to consider before he speaks. I send you a copy pf my u notes,” for insertion in the Express, if you see no objection. It may be that a few such wrinkles;may ■are some of your readers a trifle of trouble now and then, as well as trifles 6f%n6ther kind. If you approve, (and come down

handsomely, mind [*] ) I’ll continue to send you similar Notes, as opportunity offers, hoping you will not find them so dry as your own Notes usually are. 1. To win a case.— lf your case, as plaintiff or defendant, requires a lie or so to make it hold water, the “ Idler” can tell you beforehand what the decision will be, for you are almost sure not to win, and you are pretty sure to have to pay that invisible attendant at court, called the “ Piper.” The oftener too, that you go to court with a bad memory, the lighter your purse will be, and what is singular, your conscience will be heavier.

2. Items of Account. —The plaintiff in a case should bo sure to give in to the clerk, (when taking out the summons,) two copies of the account, with full particulars contained ; or else he will have the lesson impressed on his memory when the Don on the bench addresses himself to your case in particular. The worthy Doctor has a particular dislike to the words “ Account rendered.”

3. To Recover under Warranty.—Before you claim damages for a horse or cow sold to you under an understood warranty, be sure that you can prove that the animal was not according to warranty at the time, or immediately before the time you bought it. Otherwise any warranty for it, you will find come off second best, and at court this means nowhere.

4. To Secure Winter Quarters Cheap. — Go to a strange town where you are not known, and seekin’g the police, inform them that you are a ticket-of-leave man, escaped sor 10 years ago. In the present state of the law, you are sure of winter quarters, good rations, and comfortable times of it, with little to do. The Picton gaol is wellknown to be as comfortable a place as you could wish to spend the winter in. It has an affable landlord, although he is not to be Cawte with chaff. All the news of the day is supplied it is said by the local papers gratuitously into the bargain, and you may be sure of being treated tenderly till times mend. I suppose of course that you are not particular to a shade in this case, or the wrinkle will be worthless. Yours, The Idler. * Our Correspondent is amusingly cool.