AN EYE FOR EVERYTHING

Mataura Ensign, Volume 7, Issue 386, 26 August 1884, Page 2

AN EYE FOR EVERYTHING

■ J-'J ":. :Bt erOLoip/ d. f i ff" ; Of all the bodies that I know of at pre* ; sent, the Gore Political Society has th« greatest ground of complaint.. They, were to hare met and to hare discussed'; the policy of the Stout- Vogel Ministry.: But before that galaxy of iuuminati had! an opportunity of settling the affairs of th© country, Atropos, in the joint per» ; sons of Messrs Thomson >and Hatch, had shorn off the thread of the. Ministry's, political existence and, lo ! in a moment —the Society fomnd its occupation gone. Posterity,, no doubt -will suffer by not having; handed down to ifc what would, prob&blj (have bejsn /saidL >\ • IJponi W e ' principle of de mortuis ml nisi bomim, ] it may be presumed that no •pportunifcy for debatf noYr; txists, but limight sugi ' g«rtf that 'me' Society could fittingly! ooe*py itself in "the construction, of a policy for the next Government: 'TSo doubt with .the great forensic talent' at its command, it would bo able to frame a Jbieph's-coat line of policy which would be all things to all men. Here is ft* opportunity ior the local body to take the wind out of the sails of the shoddy Parliament in Dtnedin. Thb GordonMutualLnproTeinent; Society has come, seen, and conquered. The "terminal" meeting on Friday evening last was remarkable in at least one res* pect— the liberal amount of thanks awarded. I usli«Te only one person in i' Qte members* ? I a^acro^TO^B^B Reporter. | If they had only .passed a yoto of thanks ' to Mm I nave %O hesitation^ i m designating th© Society the most thankful one in existence. But -seriously, the?e societies do a , wonderful anjourit of good. True, they may generate o«r casionally a wind-bag or two, but the faculty of expressing, I was going to say ideas, but I withdraw the remark and substitute notions, in public, is too valuable to negleot the opportunity of acquiring it.

Thb splendid disregard of the fundamental rules of composition which characterises the extract! am about to make oould only, I beliere be found in the ' Southland News. 1 In the course of an article descriptire of an Inyercargill bowling green* that luminary says '• — "O n tne western aide, an asphalt gentlemen's tennis court has been completed.*' I must say this altogether fails to gire me an idea of what it beinz done. I nerer saw an asphalt /gentleman, nor did I ever hear of one* The nearest ap* proachtb one that I over knew Vas a " tar," and eren he had to be "screened" from riewt The piano«for^sale«by«an-pld. tady'tritH-mahogany^legs. story is not half so good as this, because it may be I apooryphal. The report begins correetlyyby aaying tllat the writw jwas .able ito " glean" .some (particulars. . I Jthiak^o, too. He gleaned you see, but some one had taken the crop off first, However, as fne has discorered one imperishable grain of information, may it iructify with him. « ... T almost got the opportunity in the.last *— ; , .*. v; «*h.ow Salaamlajass paragraph, o£ en4uxi^ o ielt, but I refrained when I saw !itt a newspaper published somewhere between Gore and Balclutha that a clergyman had preached from the text — "Lord I beliare, thou rnin© unbelief," This may be a now way of saying ■*'. j JjelierevypUj me boy," but it reqmp»9 a s^yong jjHfcjrir nation tcj realise it,-'- Perhaps tlj.e jis e ]ff* ; gent scribe had not the adraatage- o£ early training' and the office does not yet possess &£ Bible. I hare so much swear■mgtodothat I always carry on© with ; me... ' '.'." ' i v ..._

Me Glovbb the other night at the Town Hall said that the blue ribbon had Bible authority, aad quoted part of a passage front the^ Old Testament jin support^ of his assertion. Now, in a$K seriousness, I ask would Mr Glover or any other of his iopinion, Beriously quot» that TejfjßS, Jft order to make young female converts^ t shall not gander to depraved ta«te bj : either quoting or. naming thejpassage, bu^ leave it ; as a riddie to be solved bj th6|« who delight in such exercises. '

" Wanted, two very fat women to attend »on an incubation." Such is the opening sentence of an advertiaemenfc in a country •newspaper. There is a wide field ft* 'conjecture here. I thought afc lib ;was a recondite joke upon the ineinper |Eor Inrarcargill, but the fame of M? Watch, has sur»lj not penetrated as far as ;Bpx 104, ? Herriot, trh^re applicajbioas are to be sent- K"o, it cannot ber. To -be seconder of an amendment which upset; is surely fam« enough for! Joseph. And.Bueh fame! Mv IJatob. did more damag* to bii political prospects is that 50 minutes' speech than Invercargill" will recover this session. ;" Honest George " would not thus hare i stultified a constituency.

Schoolmastees are henceforward to be allowed to give their pupils gentle es»

ej?cis|^b^lthisritime-honored "riding the ddnS&ylr At least an Inrercargill paper puts it fi6>. It says " that teachers in« flicting ..:.,... . shall not b« liable to dismissal." What really was done by the Otago|Edncation Board was this. It refused, by;o. majority of one, to make a rule that teachcri using this form of putdehment should bo liable to dismissal. It did:not>Banetion th« use of it at all* In this, as in most matters of detail, the Board showed the usual incompeteney of unprofessional persons to deal with There.a^e^spme^Ws at school -rrhom ho namby-paniby rebukis can deter from wickedness.% The^ dr<?umentwn ad jpoateriorem is the only on© which'wWbring'^lHemjander cbntfoiran'd while there are'iom^ children that ft teacher would no more strike than lie would his own father, there are others who can't get too much of it. In this, [ as iii many other things, the matter is one of judgment Mi^l^e arbitrary definatibns qi : .tipu^ds' dlfejl themselvesrfor 4h»> tedch^r is- disced against the rery firebrands which make bis painfulTwoifitinbre^infial;

That* rpra-avis a publicanrwho do»g<npfc water Ms grog has turned up,' aWinj In insolvent state. Ho said that his house being newly openeS' he Ihad to earn the reputation of keeping good liquor, and was therefor* obliged~to sell everything without the addition of water, and thus there was less than the ordinal margin of profit upon the transaction!. I don't think many Southland^, publicans are likely to seek: the e661 : shades of the In* solvent Court from a similar cause. A recent "customer" aaked a bonifaed to •place. his, wlu^W v on the, sea,t. 4'^Khat for ?" Skefoh^ft. the customer, "it^ ip so weak it tan scarcely stand." "

"t)^^t^aeneVal > Public i ''w^.^r severe on the Enapdale Ploughing M*bek Committee in last issue. But I am lot sure that, as he, puts|tho matter, he is faffromrighti^hiysiiouldSifestdecidedly have said when they left their lists that the affair was to hay« been a " fclne ribbon one." lam very xnuoh afraid that the good people will be politely asked to And their own prize money next y?*** ' ■'" /\ I?' i r ' ■«• a r : j ?t*. ~i <-\ t> 'i : r X 1 \J ■ii \l /■■ f\ :.\ d i ll UQ Onk of the most, noticeable features ol the temperance ifeo'ple "% their iwepressiblenes«, It appears that at the last champion, .ploughing., match.-. in r Invercar* gill there w&re; Adrr«6t7e%(jf«,*tw#TOoHs, where the fell destroyer was openly vended. This under the very noses of the WallacdtOwii Gospel* Temper*hco Society, was lik« a red rag to' a hxill, and ., their secretary forthwith rushed into print and. bleated that he «* beiier«d" there was n^ 'authority T f or iu'ch {fate*. 'A ?ejoind#r oame from tli» enemy's caaip to the efEett^ifa^t properrißßd^sufficient licenses wero prodmeed, out an iad«pen« dent authority has now put,it in anothor light. ;The iiiywoargiir^tteh «anW it is said, these licenses, but to h* vstd used outside , their districti;vT]|io query now is — 'Is such authority validP' I w>ink, and I put this in" fear „«Wfd leit some legal gentleman' should think: I am poaching in his preserves, that th« authority , ia,;. valid; \ T ; he temporary license is not a fresh license, inasmuch as no unlicensed person can obtain one. It therefor* is aimply an extension, for; a specific purpose of aiiordjnarx licensee ' ■'■-'' - -■ "-■'• '—' ■■—--'•■■—■'