ODDS AND ENDS.

Marlborough Daily Times, Volume II, Issue 150, 27 August 1880, Page 2 (Supplement)

ODDS AND ENDS.

The following dialogue was overheard the other day. lie—’’‘Aramiuta, jo t’adore.’ She—“ Shut it yourself.’ Charles —“What did that spring suit cost yen, Alt’?’ Alfred 'Can 1 -;, say, dear boy——haven 1 !; been sued for ii yet. ‘ A circus never runs too long for spectators, but let a sermon run over forty minutes ami a congregation can't sit still. A. boston paper has ithouvored that they have four regular Scandals per day in Cincinnati, outside of elopements anl church rows. If Bishop Bedell says, ministers would only speak tho truth in funeral sermons, iho demand for such discourses would, rapidly decrease. 'A'matter Inw low down a man gets in tho world, there aro two tilings be can al wavs get, ssom.-how or oilier 1a A ii.c L had whisky. j ‘ j 1..;w to Become a man, ‘ Iho tii.lo of ano w j !••'!.«!. just pu'ni-.hod. A new suit cl' ch.-ilu-s ’ !>*.•« lines a m m as well as any tiling wo know ;nf no w-.n-da \.'. ’ j I’enplo talk :d:-)u* the curi ,-.~i!y of women, I but if Volt ii.)! your wife limt you believo ! ih -re's a snake in the room, she wont take j lb ; trouble ii) go there to sec if vou’ro | right. j When word, of ehirity are utiered one i think the 1 niui'in tongue mi instfitinont A . i-'e: v lien words of s! v.-Dr are uttered i w -u-l-.-r-; wiiy the w--Ad m, uot niailo | dumb. I ! Ji ■; the v mf's-iou of aw: 1 v.wr who has | he, ii t-nieo ii: ;nic:l that the first wifi: oil its la A rom in:::-, the no-;. >:r l lea olios him humidry. r.n-i the third makes him a ’ • I, A'-o:'AcT. I A :y:' ! hey may not bc-onmc a handsome I m.::;. imt ui '-c bonnet s.ire'y hecoiucs a prei: y worn.'!:). M-my a man's cuiaolrnc.- is just ns g-io-1 now at •!.-') f.-r tii-.- simp:.: reason that it iias never boon use 1. ‘ What do you do when you have a cold ‘i ’ asked a man .-f Simpkins. 1 C >ugh, ‘ was tho sententious reply. f Do make yourselves at !io:n.*, ladies,’ said a lady one day to her visiuu's. ‘l'm at homo and 1 wish you ali wore.’ If all the world's a stage, amt men an' 1 women merely players, wh-.-nv. are thluidiouee and orchestra to come from l A Place where duty oills—Tho Custom House. About the most fcrr.nVosomo i'- tioi i n any political party is dissa i--f.ie: i->u. Mon art geese, wome i are duok?, a:i l birds of a fealher ilook togeiiier. ' Sea wh it I am ? ’—not ‘ See what niv father was ! ’ —is a very old and very old and excellent saying. It would be easy to learn a forci.'n language if, as the Irishman said, ‘it could oly be spoken in English.’ Judges at b ;by, shows iu Kentucky wear masks. It saves unpleasantness after the prbws have boon awarded. One man cd >;>.: ! with the wife of another from a spelling bee in Tennessee. Such bees interfere with tho honeymoon. Would‘st tlmu be happy for a day, get shaved ; for a v c-.k, go to a wetldiug ; for a mouth, get a lino saddle horse ; for six month?, build a fine lions ) for thyself ; for a whole your, marry a beautiful young woman : for tw ; years, inherit a rieh un de ; hue if tiioii vi'.dd'st be happy for ail thv life -be tc-nperat :. ‘ ‘ !v. my sail .’sir. Jones to his b*.: to, -:-.Tf, yum have sadly uisappoimud I once con-iikn d w-u a jewel of a w-unon, imt you 've tiirue-l oat oisl v a hit of I'i.at- :;ii:*r.i:>.l paste. ‘ —‘l lien, my love, 1 was Re n.-ply, *cf ana lie yom>cif wit a tli’e idea ; Rm: par,:c is very adhesive ami will tfcici: to | y..u hug a-5 y-ui Jive., A For Literary Aspirants. —‘f i ■ ’■".]! fil'd ran;!litr cham*.-l for my article,* wrote the author » f un j eUd contribution. | —‘ That's rigid, ‘ was the an* •or of tiio j ■rle.uia countiy ulit-.w; ‘the lliitlish . t :;:i:r.el would !;e aa excellci.t place for : iu ‘ j :• mi - A ward in a .‘-to*eh iufiiinary. ! vi-iier : 'Are they kir.il !o you here ?, -Pußent (v, ho is jccovu'iiig fi i in his iliiit-s j u"d j-; very ravriiom)-: * Nh>, I never get ;id." !.. V. : ‘ tad ted ! Could you -.t nil egg?’—Eaticiit: * Eat an <gg ! t ’'Uil.i :R eat twenty 1 1 could eat the chap that i Ri them ! *