THE HUMOURIST.

Marlborough Daily Times, Volume II, Issue 142, 30 July 1880, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE HUMOURIST.

FIAT EXFERIMENTUM. The other day Dr. Washington, a coloured man, was arraigned before a justice of the peace, charged with something like malmedical practice. He had given the coloured man a dose of medicine, and the coloured man didn’t live but one hour afterwards. The justice was a coloured man, and probably knew as much of law as the doctor did of medicine. When the doctor had been arraigned the justice asked : ‘Dr. Washington, how long is you been practisin’ ob medicine ? ’ ‘ Since de wall, sail.’ ‘ What books on de fizick an’ de human reconstruction did yer study ? ’

‘ Oh, I studdied nuff—Cornstalk’s plosophy ’moug de number. Now, jedge, let me ax you one pint. What books on de law did you study ? ’

‘ I’se heah, pris’ner, afore dc bar t?r try dis case, and not ter stan’ a ’zamination. Coinin’ down from de law language to plain nigger animule, what made you kill flat mail ? ’Splaiu yerself, sah, or I’ll put de clamps of my ’thority on yer. ’ ‘ Ef dar’s a man. in dis county wliat can splaiu hisself, I’se de mail,’said the doctor, arising. ‘Some few days ago I ’vented a new medicine from roots dug outed de groun’. Hit struck me dat do medicine would cure do rheumatiz, aud when I went to sec de man wliat is dead now I concluded to ’speriment on him. No medicine ain’t no ’count till you speriment wid hit. All medical Mentions has to be proved. When Bright ’vented his kidney disease lie didn’t know hit would work till he tried it. I figured hit rip jes’ dis way. Says I to myself, if dis medicine cures dis manit’s good; but if hit kills him Hit, won’t do to tamper wid, or let lie roun’ loose among chilon. Well I gin him der medicine, aud ’bout an hour afterwards he was dead. How would 1 know dat dc medicine was fitten for use ef I hadn’t tried it! Don’t yer see de geograpy of my gagelaont ? Science must be ’vanced, yer know. ’ * Dat’s a facie,’ said the justice after musing awhile, ‘de pint arc well sustained. Mr. Cornstable, turn dis man loose, and caution him not to ’vent any moali medicine in my township.