MISCELLANEOUS.

Marlborough Daily Times, Volume I, Issue 89, 27 January 1880, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS.

Gardening ia regularly and practically taught in more than 20,000 primary schools in France. Every school-house has its garden, and teachers must not only he good gardenersbut qualified to teach horticulture —or they cannot pass examination.

A Drop of the Creature.—lt has been said that a cat will not wet her paw to catch mice, but it is a humiliating fact that ■a man will jump into a river to get whisky. Three hundred barrels of illicit whisky were emptied into a creek by a revenue collector at YVaoo, Texas. A crowd of men jumped into the stream and drank all of the liquor possible before it flowed away. They got enough of it to make them all drunk.

A young lady gave her skating experience as follows:—“ You ought to have seen me” said the vivacious young lady to the new minister ; “I’d just got the skates on and made a start when down I came on mv ”

“Maggie!” said her mother. “What? Oh, it was too funny ! One skate went one way, and the cthw'r: t’other way, and I came down on my ” “Margaret!” re-

provingly spoke tier father. “ Well, what ? They scootedout from under me and down I came on my ” “Margaret?” yelled both the parents. “On my little brother, who had me by the hand, and like to have smashed him. Now, what’s the matter?” The girl’s mother emerged from behind the coffee pot, a sigh of relief escaped from the minister, and the old gentleman adroitly turned the conversation into a political channel. — Exchange.

Brewers and Bankers.—lt is generally suppossd that bankers, even under ordinaray circumstances (says the Manawatu Times) get their shares of holidays, but an occasion lately arose which compelled an extra bank holiday under peculiar circumstances. A brewer in a township not a hundred miles from Ttangitikei supplied a publican with a hogshead of beer, but when the account was sent in, payment was refused upon the plea that it was by no means up to the standard guaranteed, and a summons was the result. In order to prove the inferiority of the liquid, Boniface supoenaed both the local managers, and as the town had not advanced to sufficient state of maturity for the branches to be possessed of more than one official, the agents had no other option than to close their respective institutions while they attended the Court to speak as experts upon the quality of the beer. Notices were pasted upon the hank doors notifying that the agents had been summoned to Court —a distance of four miles; but we rather guess the nature of evidence to be given was kept in the back ground. As the two gentlemen were the only witnesses called for the defendant, it is to be presumed that the members of the banking profession are connoisseurs with regard to malt drinks.

“The sweetest voice I ever heard,” said the Bishop, “was a woman’s. It was soft and low but penetrating, musical and measured in its accents, but not precise. We were on a steamer, and she murmured some commonplace words about the scenery. Ido not remember what she said, but I can never forget the exquisi cely tender musical voice. ” “The sweetest voice I ever heard.” said the Professor, was a man’s. I had been out fishing nearly all day and got back to the hotel about three o’clock. The man came out and roared, ‘Div-NUR!’ till it soured the milk in the cellar. I have heard other ■-Dices since then, but I never—” But the Bishop, with a look of intense disgust all over his face, had already walked out of hearing and was lighting a fresh cigar by himself.

Precept and Example—Great Grandpapa: “Oh, indeed! you can lick your ristors at lawn-tennis, can you ? Well done, :ny boy, but beware of self-conceit, and never brag. Why, I could lick everybody at lawn-tenni3 when I was your age —or could have done if there had been anv lawn tennis ! to play. I was the best cricketer, she best fencer, the best boxer, runner, jumper, swimmer and driver. I ever came across, either at school or college, or after ; and in classics and mathematics I beat ’em all clean out of the field ! As for riding, no one ever touched me ; or dancing either ; let alone that I was the handsomest man in the county, and the best dressed, for that matter; besides being the wittiest and most popular. Ay, and such a song as I could cing, too ! And yet a more modest and unassuming demeanour than mine its never been my good fortune to set eyes on, man, or boy, these fourscore years and ten.”

Lord Truro, whose residence is at Falconhurat, on the summit of Shooter’s Hill, Woolwich, has just afforded an example of funeral simplicity. His wife died a short time ago, and his lordship, having caused a plain coffin to be made, lightly constructed, sc as not to arrest the process of natural decay, had it interred in a grave dug in the lawn which fronts the house at a spot selected by the deceased lady during her lifetime. The grave is about four feet deep, and a marble monument will mark its position. It is stated that neither the local authorities, nor any other, officials, have any power to prevent or object to interments of this description, the only legal •conditions being that the ground shall be freehold, the situation removed some distance from a dwelling-house, and the depth of the grave and other circumstances arranged with due regard to the public health.

It Nature warns man to touch the forest •zflth a sparing hand, she no less indicates ihai he shall put his utmost energy in breakjog up the soil of the prairies, and when •possible plant trees. The quantity of rain h Western Nebraska and Kansas is reportid to have doubled since the early settle-•-ent in those regions, and the reason doubtless is to bo found both in the planting of trees, and the opening up of the soil to ibsorb more moisture. Moreover brooks or “branches” as they call them out here, are starting up in gullies and gulches hitherto •dry. Colorado and California States, generally dry for eight summer months, Save this year begun to have heavy rains. The same causes are probably at work all over the “dry season” portions of our reentry. On the other hand Ohio and Northern New York are echoing the complaints of the French agricultural report, that the felling of forests is the ruin of rivers. These natural laws Bcem plain enough. _Men should leem to follow them.—New York Times.

The New York Tribune contends that the American nation has been engaged for years in systematic lying, cheating, thieving and homicide towardsthe Indians. It but echoes the sentiment of all just and thoughtful Americans when it places the responsibility upon the ignorance, prejudice, snd criminal negligence of national law-makers.

The story is told of Dr. Storrs about a little clergyman whose bald head was just visible to the congregation when he got into the pulpit, preaching from the text. “Thou shalt see greater things than these,” is more than matched by the old story from Boston of the late Dr. Packman when he preached his first sermon in the high old-fashioned tub-pulpit of Battle street Church. Very little of him was to be seen except the top of his head and arms, which he waved about as he read, “Lo, it is I; be not afraid.”

The Hobarton Mercury, writing of Mr. Weld, says the present year is “the last of his term of office as representative of her Majesty the Queen in Tasmania. Each year Mr. Weld has been in the colony has increased our appreciation of his interest both in the material welfare and in the pastimes of the colonists, and his departure should it be decided on, will be sincerely regretted on all sides. ’

An anecdote has been related to us, which, although it comes somewhat late in the day, is worth repeating. It appears that a party was given at the house of a well-known citizen on Old Year’s Eve, at which a large number of guests were presont. Among them were one or two who were strangers to the manners and customs of the people of Wellington ; and from their subsequent proceedings it would appear that the manners and customs of the people of that part of the world from whence they came were equally strange to the people of Wellington. The conduct of these two gentlemen was inexplicable, if not unpleasant, not to say decidedly improper. The clock had just struck the hour of midnight, thus announcing the advent of the new year, when the strangers arose from their scats, and deliberately kissed every girl and woman in the room. The attack was so sudden that, with one or two exceptions, little opposition was offered, and one room having been disposed of the gentlemen in question made their way into the next and there completed their osculatory exercises. Here two of the ladies refused pointblank to receive the New Year’s endearments, both of them being married, and fearful that their husbands should be witnesses to this uncalled for breach of etiquette. We are informed, however, that in the case of the young unmarried ladies the attentions were received in the same liberal spirit in which they were offered. Some of the gentlemen gathered together with clenched fists, while others openly talked about ejecting the offenders from the house. These latter returned to the room where the first act of the kissing drama had taken place, all smiles, and with extended hands to the gentlemen. When they found how offended these latter were, they expressed their surprise, explaining that they had only done what was the general custom in Christchurch, from which place it seems the;/ came. They had no wish to give offence —had thought that as strangers it was their duty to set a good example in ushering in the new year, and expressed their regret if they had given any offence. The ladies all smilingly accepted the apologies, as did likewise the gentlemen, after soine demur. — V. Z. Times.

The Californian correspondent of a Southern paper writes : —“ In a New England State, the local newspapers of Somerset County announces that “ hugging sociables ” are to be held in various parts of that County for church and other purposes. It is proposed to charge 10 cents to hug any young lady between 15 and 20; 5c for anyone between 20 and 30 ; 25c for young widows ; 1 dollar to hug another man’s wife ; old maids, two for a cent ; while female lecturers are free, with a chromo thrown in. There is a great deal of quaint humour about this which one cannot help enjoying, and the beauty of it is that “ hugging sociables ” are just what they pretend to be, and not the “ holy faire,” or religious camp-meetings, whose love-feasts partake less of fun than of reality, and form the subject this season of scathing pictures in the illustrated newspapers. A new craze has taken possession of American womankind, and that is the fashion of tatooing the limbs, breast or shoulder in Indian ink. Of all places, the Quaker city of Philadelphia is the most given to it, and never since Moses forbade tatooing has there been such cause for prohibiting it. The operators, mostly female, but not always so, have their hands full of business. Monograms, devices, the names of friends, lovers or relatives, are pricked into the flesh, until one is puzzled to think how they bear the torture. A reporter was admitted to see one of the operating rooms, and saw it through_ a screen. One woman had no less than eight devices, including monograms, crosses, half-moons, &c., tatooed from the knee downward. The demimonde are the best customers. Lately, they have become almost crazy about it; but respectable women are little behind them. The charges range from five dollars to fifty dollars according to design. All Eastern and Southern cities are possessed with this craze, which has extended to Chicago, St. Louis, and this Coast. I suppose you have not got to this pitch of fashionable disfiguration in New Zealand, though it was an open secret there a quarter of a century ago, that tatooing was not unknown to the families of the earliest white inhabitants, especially in the far North. It may have gone out of fashion, however, and it would be well not to revive it.

Holloway’s Pills. —The stomach and its troubles cause more discomfort and brings more unhappiness than is commonly supposed. The thousand ills that settle there may be prevented of dislodged by the judicious use of these purifying Pills, which act asaoure, gentle anti-acid aperient, without annoying'the nerves of the most susceptible or irritating the most delicate organisation. Holloway’s Pills will bestow comfort and conferjrelief on every headachy, dyspeptic and sickly sufferer whose tortures make him a burden to himself and a bogbear to his friends. These Pills have long been tbepopularremedy for a weak stomach for a disordered liver, or a paralysed digestion, which yield without difficulty to their regulating, purifying, and tonic qualities.— T.