LABOURS OF A WELSH HERCULES.

Lyttelton Times, Volume X, Issue 603, 14 August 1858, Page 5

LABOURS OF A WELSH HERCULES.

(From 'Punch.')

A Welsh Editor, who has transferred his services .from one publication to another, and has, as he conceives, been insulted by the proprietor of the first, who has called him a Keporter, publishes, in order to prove what a multifarious responsibility he underwent, a sort of analysis of his duties. It is in itself a curiosity of Literature, and it is really due to Country Editors in general to show how very hard they work for the benefit of the localities blessed with their presence.

Our friend's first duty was ". To arrange the foreign and parliamentary intelligence of the week from the daily papers." The man who can do this fairly and carefully, in two days, is a smart fellow.

Next " To select and cull " (we don't know what culling is, or how it differs from selection, but propose to write and ask Sir Culling Bardley) '■" miscellaneous paragraphs from the same source." This is a troublesome job, especially as the daily papers select (and cull) from the country papers, and you may be reprinting your own articles or a rival's.

Tiiird. "To arrange a column of literary matter (no magazine or book being afforded me but the ' London Journal,' which by-the-bye was at htst stopped)." Arrange means extract, and if the genth-ninn had to invent a column of extracts, and could do it, his sroiiius ought not to have been left to languish in an obscmv Welsh town. We are sorry the '"London Journal' was stopped, as it is a most instructive publication ; but as the loss could have been made good for a penny, we pass to duty number Four. "To report all meetings within the town aud the district, and sometimes at a distance." Rebecca and her children do not now meet in Wales. But there are plenty of meetings of guardians, overseers, vestries, magistrates, Odd-Fellows, arid the like, and v.oe to the editor whose reporter has omitted a single pearl that falls from the lips of a local orator. As, if anybody hisses at a theatre, the manager always says that the wretch has been "sent in," and that it is part of a >: conspiracy," and look* under the seat of his carriage for bombshells when he goes away, ft provincial orator, shortened in report, instantly writes to impute the abbreviation to the most diabolical and underhand plotting on the part of somebody \\<\l a hundred miles from somewhere. This work was enough fur-one iiulivnluul. Hut.

Fifthly. "To ascertain every incident within tho .town, and cnv^t it into a paragraph." Surely (!iis is one snail's work, and good work,

How is a gentleman to be arranging- the news of tlie world, selecting (and culling) paragraphs, inventing: literature, • and reporting meetings, while he is patrolling the pebbly streets to see what remark;! 1)1/ fine little boys fall into the fire, what new arrangement has been rrale in tiits piciiies in menu Jobiey's window, and how the water-spout waj torn down from the stables of Mrs. Miggles, the respected hostess of the Blue Moon, by some fiend in human form," at whom our admired and acute policeman, Starch, has, we hear, a shrewd guess? Our Hercules was übiquitous, however, and then Sixthly. " To write occasional letters on local subjects supposed to be interesting to the inhabitants, not in my own name, but. from a correspondent." Oh, for shame! What? Then " Yigilans," who sneered at the parson, and " Ar^us," who scofl'ed at the Mayor's want of politeness, and " Litile 80-Peep,"" who wished to know who pr.id for the champagne at a certain dinner, or indeed if mine host were paid at. all,, were 'not real "people. Oh, fie ! We never have anything of this kind in a London paper—never, lint the next is worse. Seventhly. "To praise directly and by inuendo, certain personal friends of the publisher, and to write down a certain solicitor, his staff, and everything that was his." Here we must pause. This is too shocking. We were not prepared for such revelations. Tney come upon us like a shower bath, and may hereafter brace us for action, but at the instant they simply overwhelm and make us shudder. We cannot pursue the painful subject. The complainant does. He adds that he had.— "To cut out every paragraph iVom the 'Courant' (not a week old) relating to the Principality, and insert it in the paper he edited ; to rewrite everything interesting to the neighborhood from the columns of a certain con tern porar}-, ditto from a certain other contemporary in town, should the information not have teen obtained before: to write leading articles upon local, district, and general subjects I two or three per week, as the case might be, 1 with sometimes a summary (this I did, with but one exception, for three years and ahalf) ; to read the proofs-and-icvise them ; and 1 iv short, to make up and write the whole paper, I including the revision of illegible manuscripts ami questionable compositions." It may be so. It sounds a good deal. But., afber previous revel itions, nothing would surprise us. The American youth ate a rhinocerous for dinner, and then grumbled ihat ten, wasn't read} 7. We have eaten the' Welch vhinocerpus, and. can wait for tea. But O, gentle readers, when you take up a country paper, anil as you probal.ly ami naturally do, two minutes later throw it down again, think of the duties of an editor as described by this Cambrian Hercules. LOLA I&OSTES AST) THE TAXKEES. '- In the Supreme Court in the State of New York, a suit brought by Mr. Jobson, a literary man, upon a matter of no great public interest, has ijiven occasion to an extraordinary scene. There being apparently a deal of " hard swearing " on one side or the other, the defendant's counsel thought it necessary to call Lola Monies as a witness to damage the plaintiff's general diameter. She stated that she had known Mr. Jobson in London, and described his conduct and reputation in the severest terms. In crossexamination, she was questioned,most unmercifully about her own past career, and persisted in declaring that her name was originally Rosanna Gilbert, and that she was born " in the beautiful town of Limerick." She was thirty-three yeai-s o'kl, and had had two husbands—the first, a Captain James, who took her to India ; that in London she learnt dancing for the stage from a Spaniard named Espa, "and then passed some months in Spain. Being asked flatly, "'How many intrigues have you had?" She llatly replied— None: I resided at the Court of Bavaria two years. Who did you know there? Everybody but'yourself.' I know all about several millions of persons. I knew the King of Bavaria. Mr. Wittelsbacher, he was called —that was his family name. Were you the mistress of the King ? (Rising) What! (Emphatically.) No, Sh\ You arc a villain, Sir. I will take my oath on that book (the Bible) which I road'every night,. - I had no intrigue with the old man. I knew the King, and moulded the mind of the King to the love .of freedom. He took me before tirowhole court with his wife, and presented me as his best friend. I was on the stage in Bavaria. It is easier to bo a-man's mistress than a dariceu I was in Bavaria in 1847 and IS.IS. In 1819 the revolution occurred, and liberty and I 'tied. The King and Queen'supported me while I was there. I was engaged in political public business. Yon might call me Prime Minister, if you jplease, or, as the King has said, I was the King. There was a man of straw there as Prime Minister. True, but he was only a man of straw. The memoirs that have been written about me are lies. I was called Countess of Landsfclt. There was much more of this kind, and tho court adjourned. On the 18th ultimo, the proceedings were re< sunii'd, before a crowd of curious spectators, specially admitted by ticket. Mr. Jobson camV armed with a rattan cane, and sal, b.-side his counsel, Mr. Soherincrhorn, who rosunifd \\\h cross-examination of Lola Ah»»lps,*asl<mg iu-r whether her real namo was not Ht.-tsy. WaLsn.-t, s whether she was not. horn :d .Vinotru.v,', in JSJ">, and other such questions, which sho contempt >*- ously refused to answer, retaliating on I ho ; .. loanuv! counsel by asking him whether : Ut> hu4

rtibt been brought before the police court for •beating ,a, lady. She was then asked whether •she had not been chambermaid at the Star Inn, Montrose ? and replied, "You cannot make me *out a chambermaid ;. it is not a dishonest tiling, •eitlieiyif.l was; I should have considered iny--self a far greater woman if I had been bom a * chambermaid, than I am to-day, r The examination was abruptly brought to a -close, by the following scene between Mr. Seely, -the defendant's counsel, and Mr. Jobson, the •plaintiff:— ■. ■ .' . Mr. Seely (to opposite counsel). —You will confine her examination to her knowledge, or •means of knowledge, of the character of this fellow ; him here, (pointing to Jobson.) Mr. Jobson (excitedty)—Now, sir, if you call me a fellow again, you vagabond shyster, I'll ■lit'you see. Mr. Seely.—You will! say another word and I'll drop you down the three stories. Mr. Jobson.—You are a vagabond, siv;and if you come across here I'll chastise you. Here Mr. Seely jumped to his feet and attempted to strike Jobson, but; tlje large stove intervening, the blow was either weakened or fell short of its aim; Jobson started off his , seat, at the same moment raised his cane and ■struck Seely over the leal with it. Seely wrenched the weapon out of Jobson's hand, rushed past the stove, caught his opponent by; the head, and pummelled him severely for several seconds. Then the police and bystanders interfered and ■separated- the combatants. The scene, had it not been somewhat tragical, would have been ludicrous in the extreme. The unfortunate referee, kept running backwards and forwards in a state of helpless terror. Madame Monies, who was separated from, that portion of the room in which the conflict occurred by a large table, exhibited her customary coolness, but by the flashing of her eyes, and an involuntary ■movement towards Miv Jobsou's caput, when it was suffering sore infliction at the hands of Mr. Seely, it was evident she would have had no objection whatever to furnish herself with a souvenir snatched from that unfortunate pericranium. When the parties had been separated -Jobson was dragged backwards towards the -■door. He returned to the scene of the encounter immediately, made threatening gestures at his late opponent, and incurred a se---cond onslaught, which nearly upset the table, but ended in nothing more serious than the emptying of an ink bottle into the bosom of •one of the reporters.

Madame Montes now began to manifest great excitement, " Good people! men!" she ex--claimed, "Take care of Mr. Seely. He is a good and honest man. Mr. Seely, don't touch that man—he is not worth a gentleman's -touching." "I know," cried Mr. Seely, " that he is not -worth punishing—the vagabond." The panting belligerents had again been separated, and thus the battle ended. The lady addressed the persons around her, -and eriod in a tone of bitterness, "Oh, is there •no law that caii prevent a woman from being injured in her character, and in a false manner?" Nobody gave her the required information, probably because law was not then the""precise matter in issue.

The referee (who had full powers to commit them all to prison^ and is blamed by the New York press for not doing so), at last got the court cleared, and protested he would have no more to do with the case.