Poetry.

Lyttelton Times, Volume IX, Issue 553, 20 February 1858, Page 3

Poetry.

ptfVINCIAL PARODIES. / • No. 5. .. OSQ OF; THE SQUATTERS. After Longfellow. tbtrtD you hear a pretty story >f our ancient legislators, pf our statesmen in the old time, /Of the councillors and wise men ' /in the very ancient ages? Shall I tellyou how the stockmen; Crafty • squatters; subtle shepherds, ■ - From the Southward and >the Northward, From! the deep'and wide Waitangi, • From the changing Hur.titiui,,. From the gloomy Hare wood forest, J " From the icy. lake of Coleridge, From the country of Mackenzie, From thei regions of the Westward, Came together down to ChristchUrch, Entered the Provincial Council, Made orationsin-the' Council, Ji Begged; ibiploredj and prayed the Council, Coaxed the unsuspecting Council, ■ • Hoaxed the simple minded Council, Did, the.very wily statesmen, . Gammoned:all the legislators, ■'„■,; Humbugged, diddled, all the members, ; '/ And, departed, laughing, chuckling, With-their thumbs up to their noses • Ancl their other fingers' waving, To'the'Southward and the Northward, To the deep and wide Waitangi, To the changing Hururiui; ' ■ ■' To the gloomy TO are wood forest, To the icy lake of Coleridge, To the country of Mackenzie, Chuckling at the favours granted, Grieving at the little asked for ? Do you ask me whence these chucklinga, What might be these favours granted, Who these subtle, crafty.shepherds, Who the simple minded Council, Statesmen, members, legislators? I would answer, L would tell you, In a pretty little story ' Of the very ancient ages. Oloware,; the Secretary, Sat withiathe Council Chamber, On the crimson-covered cushions, On the, ministerial-benches; Pen and ink'were placed before him; At his side a pile of papers; On the floor the bulky blue-books; In his hands before him held he The 'Amended Regulations.' Tomicas, the chief surveyor, Sat upon the' seat beside him. On the crimson-covered cushions; On the ministerial benches; la his hands another copy Of the YVaste JVauas ReguiatUj.js, • .-....-•-- The' Amended Regulations.' AU around the Council Chamber Sat the six-and-twenty members, Representing all the' people, All the districts of the province; Christchurch, Kaiapoi, arid Avon, Akaroa, and Rakaia, - - Ashley, Lyttelton,'arid Heathcote, Timaru,1 and Port' Victoria. In their hands beforethem held they, All the six-and-twenty members, The 'Amended Regulations.' : Rose then Oloware the fluent, The long-winded Secretary, . Spake such words of sounding grandeur, Sentences so swift and rapid, Speeches of such length and glibness, That the boldest- bowed before him, Stopped his ear-holes with1 his fingers, Wished himself outside the chamber. But to tellyou his oration, All the fervour of his genius; All his ornamental language, 'T,would be longer, deeper, swifter, And much harder to get over Than the Rangitata'river. But, before he ended^ spake he ('Twas the pith of his oration): — " We have thought and deemed it proper To throw open all the country By relaxing the conditions Which have tied,it tip so closely; And the Government doth ask ye To assent to certain measures (Those Amendedi Regulations Ye are holding" now before ye) Tfhich relax the said conditions That have tied the land so tightly; Tightly tied it, closely bound ft, From the ready money buyer. And the question is before ye, Under your consideration, Ay or no, to pass these measures, The' Amended Regulations.'" Thus he spake for twenty minutes Makirigr frequent Repetitions And subdued reverberations . Like the dropping down of water From a spout in"rainy" weather Into some half-empty barrel. When he stopped rose Jonnioltok, Shrewd and subtle Jonnioltok, i. He the double-barrelled, justice, Ever prompt to give opinions; And at once he shoved his oar in \ In his customary manner:— j " I assent to these proposals With a trifling reservation. Ye will sweep away conditions, Justly sweep away restrictions, Which tie up the land so closoly; Only ye'U except the squatter, Will not touch the rights of squattevs, Of the shepherds and the stockmen; Ye shall take the rights of farmers, Of the millers, Tmkersj butchers, Tailors, drapers, clothiers, hatters, Soldiers, doctors, undertakers,

Of 'storekeepers and bootmakers, Of all trades and occupations, , 0f all persons in the province, But the shepherds, the runholders; Them ye shall not touch nor injure." Thus he spake and gave no reason, Shrewd and subtle Jonnioltok! But he left the other shepherds, Squatters and the friends of squatters, To uphold him with their reasons; For his words had done the business, Woke desires were never dreamed of. And a flutter passed among them, Lighting eyes with apprehension, Opening mouths with expectation, Consciousness of something coming, Something of advantage coming; And they took the hint and followed. . ' n So the parson-bird, the tui, The white bearded songster tui, In the morning wakes the woodlands ' With his customary music; Then the other tuis round him Clear their throats and sing in concert, All the parson birds together. And as sheep together huddled On some river-bed of shingle, ; .. Of the Waiau or Waitangi, ~ Or tjie, changing Hurunui, Stand beside the flowing water, Shrink beside the rapid water, Arid refuse to wet their fleeces; Till one bolder than the others, Jumbuck of a forward nature, . Takes the stream as if he knew it, Tells them he knows all about it. Then the others struggle after1, Struggle to plunge headlong after, Wondering at their own presumption. So the shepherds, the runholders, Followed after Jonnioltok, Their bell-wether Jonnioltok. First rose burly Scotje-tomsin, He the bully, big and portly, Round proportioned, talking loudly, Making little men to tremble At his violence of language:— "We will leave the land to squatters; They may hold it on for, ever; For they build on, and improve it, Make their houses and their gardens, Farms, and comfortable homesteads; And, what's more, they mean to keep it. Therefore ye must let them keep it, Ye had better lefthem have it. Who is here that will oppose me, He's a fool, and out of order." Then spoke rugged Bobirodi, The hard-headed one from Yorkshire, He the prince of all the squatters, Largest holder of runholders:— " Ye remember old Suellis, Councillor with us of old time; Crafty statesman, cunning prophet, Who taught all of us our wisdom; He arranged this matter for us, ' ™~~^nxirne^aTOTs~snx«im—are«r^\-k^,^ . Should rem^in^as he had left it." As he prophesied, so He, it." And the very big man Stunnem Moving only eyes and shoulders, Mutely making demonstrations^ Saying nought, was most impressive. Then the shepherds in a chorus,Squatters and; the friends of squatters, Begged, implored, and prayed the Council To consider all their hardships; How their rents were so oppressive. How their wool was sold for nothing, How they could not sell their wethers For the paltry price of mutton, How the market rate of stations Showed the business to be shocking; And they begged and prayed the Council To maintain the old conditions That had tied the land so closely Only on behalf of squatters. Sweeping quite away the others. But the most effective reason, Most conclusive in their favour, Was the look that passed among them All around the Council Chamber. Few were bold enough to argue In reply to Bobirodi, To the "bully Scotje-tomsin, To the very big man Stunnem, To the subtle jonnioltok. And the few that stood their ground there, Stood their ground and asked for justice, Simple justice to all classes, "They were bullied and brow-beaten, Called to order, reprimanded, By the stockowners, the big men, Squatters and the friends of squatters, And the timid ones around them Who would fain be friends of squatters. So the fluent Secretary, Oloware the rapid speaker, With his colleague sitting by him, Tomicas, the chief surveyor, Trembled on the crimson cushions. Gave them all that they demanded, Granted all the boon they asked for, Never dared to raise objections, For they feared the mighty squatters. Then departed all the stockmen, Crafty squatters, subtle shepherds, To the Southward, to the Northward, To the wide and deep Waitangi, To the changing Hurunui, To the gloomy Harewoorl Forest, To the icy lake of Coleridge, . To the country of Mackenzie, To the regions of the Westward; With their thumbs up to their noses And their other fingers waving, Chuckling at the favours granted. Grieving at the little asked for. And they kicked the farmer backward From the fertile spots of country In the region of the Westward, — Never thinking of hereafter. Feb. 12, 1658.