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Lyttelton Times, Volume V, Issue 296, 1 September 1855, Page 6

Volcano at the Kaikoras. — For some time past there has been a rumour that a volcano had broken out on one of the seaward Kaikoras, and that this look place on the occasion of the earthquakes in February last. From the remote position of the spot we were not able to ascertain any satisfactory particulars, and the fact itself was by many persons denied. The following extracts from a letter received from Mr. Weld set the question, we think, at rest, as his information was obtained near tbe spot; and we shall look to receive further par-" ticulars from some one who no doubt will visit the place on an early occasion. Waipapa Point we imagine to be just to the southward of the mouth of the Waipapa river, or, as it is named inland, the Waiatoa, or Clarence river : —"There appears real reason to suppose that a volcano is in activity on Waipapa Point; the shepherds say they see smoke rise in a column and then disperse; and a new bituminous spring has certainly sprung up in the sea close to Waipapa. The river was so high that 1 could not get across to see them. The name of the hill I allude to signifies 'Maker of Earthquakes,' and it was an old volcano.''— Nelson Examiner.

Death among the Chaplains.—Twentysix clergymen of the Established Church have, in all, been sent out to the seat of war and to the hospitals. One-half only of this number have been paid entirely by Government, the other half being paid partly iby Government and partly by the Propagation Society. One of the twenty-six has been recalled to other duties in Ireland ; three have resigned—one from necessity and two from choice ; two are dead, Mr. Mockler and Mr. Wyatt (a former curate of Dr^ Hook's); and Mr. Owen, Mr. Procter, Mr. Tayler, and Mr. Gilburne are ill. Thus only sixteen gentlemen are left fit for active duty. The Presbyterian church has a complement of eight clergymen, of whom two belong io the Free Kirk. They are all officially recognised, but though some are paid by Government entirely, others are paid partly by Government and partly by the respective bodies to which they are attached. The Roman Catholic clergy had at one time ten priests on duty at the. various stations, but these have been reduced to six by the deaths of two, Mr. Wheble and Mr. Canty, and the illness of two others.

THE SICK BACHELOR. Here I am, a doomed man—booked for a fever, in this gloomy room, up four flights of stairs ; nothing to look at but one table, two chairs, and a cobweb ; pulse racing like a locomotive ; head throbbing as if it were hooped with iron ; mouth as parched as Ishmael'sin the desert; not a bell-rope within reach; sun pouring in through those uncurtained windows, hot enough to singe off my eye-lashes ; all my confidentianetters lying loose on the table, and I could n't get up to them if you held one of Colt's revolvers to my head. All my masculine friends (?) are parading Broadway, I suppose ; peeping under the pretty girls'" bonnets, or drinking " Rherry-cohblers." A sherry-cobbler! Bacchus! what a luxury! I believe Satan suggested the thought to me. Heigh-ho ! I suppose the Doctor (whom they have sent for) will come before long; some great, pompous iEscnlapius, with an owl phiz, a gold-headed cane, an oracular voice, and callous heart and hands; who will first manipulate my wrist, and then take the latitude and longitude of my tongue ; then he will punch me in my ribs, and torment me with more questions than there are iv tbe Assembly's Catechism; then he'll bother me for writing materials, to scratch off a hieroglyphic humbug prescription, ordering five times as>uch medicine as I need ; then I shall have to pay for it ; then, ten to one, t»e apothecary's boy will put up poison by mistake ! Caasar! how my head spins round; Hippodrome racing is nothing to it.

■"Hist! there's the Doctor. No! it is that little unregenerate cub, my landlady's pet hoy with a bran new drum (as I'm a sinner), upon which he is beating a crucifying tattoo. If j only had a boot-jack to throw at him! No! that won't do ; his mother would n't make niy gru el. I'll bribe him with a sixpence, to keep the peace. The little embryo Jew! he says he xvon't do it under a quarter ! Twitted by a litth pinafore! 1, Tom Haliday, six feet in im stockings! I shall go frantic. " Doctor is coming!" Well let him come-;-, I'm as savage as if I'd just dined offa cold mis'* sionary. I'll pretend to be asleep, aud let old Pill-hox experiment.

How gently he treads—how soft his hand is —how cool and delicious his touch! How tenderly he parts my hair over my throbbing temples ! His magnetic touch thrills every drop of blood in my veins : it is marvellous how soothing it is. I feel as happy as a hummingbird in a lily cup, drowsy with honey-dew. Now he's moved away. I hear him writing a prescription. I'll just take a peep and see what he looks like. C»sar Aggripina ! if it is n't a female physician! dainty as a Peri— and my beard three dai/s old ' What a bust! (Wonder how my hair looks!) What a foot and ankle! What shoulders; what a little round waist. Fever? I've got twenty fevers, and the heart complaint besides. What the mischief sent, that little witch here? She will either kill or cure me, pretty quick, fg.Wonder if she has any more masculine patients? Wonder if they are handsome? Wonder if she lays that little dimpled hand on their foreheads, as she did on mine ? Now she has done writing, I'll shut my eyes and groan, and then, may be, she will pet me some more ; bless her little soul!

She says, "poor fellow!" as she holds ray wrist, "his pulse is too quick." In the name of Cupid, what does she expect? She says,as she pats my forehead with her little plump fingers, '; 'Sh—sh I Keep cool." Lava aud brimstone ! does she take me for an iceberg? Oh, Cupid ! of all your devices, this feminine doctoring for a bachelor is the ne plus ultra of witchcraft. If I don't have a prolonged ''run of fever," my name is n't Tom Haliday ! She's gone! and—l'm gone too. — Fanny Fern.