HOW THE LADIES MANAGE US.

Lyttelton Times, Volume III, Issue 105, 8 January 1853, Page 11

HOW THE LADIES MANAGE US.

1 our first consideration before marriage was, how to please your lover. Consider any such endeavour, after marriage, to be unnecessary and ridiculous ; and, by way of amends for your former labour, let your sole object be, to please Be at no pains to look well of a morning. A long toilet is tiresome; particularly when it is cold. c Taking the hair out' occupies nearly ten minutes ; came down to breakfast, therefore, m curl papers ; also in a flannel dressinggown ; and, unless you expect callers, remain in deshabille all day. Husbands are nobodies, and comfort is to be studied before appearance.

But are you to neglect your attire altogether? **y.no means. Indulge your taste in dress to the utmost. Be always buying something new ; never mihd the expense of it. Payments belong- to husbands. If you see a shawl or bonnet in a window, order it. Should a silk or a rauslnr attract your eye, desire it to be sent home. L>oes a feather, a ribbon, a jewel, strike your fancy, purchase it instantly. If your husband is astonished at the bill, pout; if he remonstrates,^ cry. But do not spoil your finery by domestic wear. Reserve it for promenades and i parties. It is* the admiration of society that you should seek for, not your husband's. Be constantly seeing tables, chairs, window; curtains, and other furniture which you like better than your own ; and insist upon their being- g-ot. Want to get rid of your old piano, and have a new one. If your husband keeps a carnage for you desire a better; if he does not," and cannot afford it, complain. Whenever your desires exceed his means, look unhappy, and hint how much more advantageously you might have married. Never smile and hope lor better things, but make your husband feel, askeenly as you can, the inadequacy of his means to support you. _ Practise, however, a reasonable economy. , Take every opportunity of making a cheap purchase and when asked of what use it is ? reply^- , that It is £ a bargain.' Enjoy ill-health. Be very nervous: and, in particular, subject to fits which you are to fly into as often as your husband is unkind, that is| whenever he reasons with you. Make the most

of every little ache or pain; and insist upon ' having- a fashionable physician. There is some--thing- very elegant in illness—a prettiness in a delicate constitution : affect this attraction if you have it not—men admire it exceedingly. Put yourself under no restraint in your husband's presence. Sit, 1011, or lie, in just what way you like, looking only at the ease of the posture, not to its grace. Leave niceties of conversation and sentiment to the single ; never mind how you express yourself, for why should wives be particular ? When your husband wishes to read or be quiet, keep chattering to him ; the more frivilous and uninteresting the subject, the better. If he is disposed for conversation, be dull and silent; and whenever .you see that he is interested in what he is talking about, especially if he wishes you to attend to him, keep yawning. There are two ways of discharging your household duties. If you are languid and listless, you may let them alone ; if not able, you should be continually turning the house topsyturvy, under preterice to set it to rights. You can either let your servants do just as they please, or you may be,continually in the kitchen after them. In the latter case, scold them ".frequently, and in an audible voice, so as .to be heard up stairs. Never think of looking to your husband's shirt butons; leave that to the laundress ; or, if you must attend to his linen, superintend your washing in person, and have frequent water-parties ; and especially in winter, always have the clothes dried before the parlour fire.

If your husband has to go out to a businessdinner, never let him have the latch key; and should-lie, on any occasion, stay out late, send the servant to bed, sit up for him yourself, and make a merit of the sacrifice to " the wretch." Have a female confidant, who will instruct you in all ill qualities of husbands generally, ■•and will' supply any deficiencies in the above hints. Xrx conclusion, bear these grand principles in mind-—that men must be crossed and thwarted continually, or they are sure to be tyrants ; that a woman, to have her rights, must stand up f or t ]j em . {UU \ tna t the "behaviour which won a man's affections, is by no means necessary to preserve ibcm.—Punch.

_ Lola Months and her " Pilot." —The dispute between Lola Montes and M. Roux, theatrical agent, was formally submitted to the Civil Tribunal. M. Roux's advocate stated, that by an agreement between them, Mdlle. Lola undertook to accept M. Roux as her pilote intermediare in a professional journey she proposed making as a danseuse to different cities of Europe, and to various parts of America, and to allow him 25 per cent, on her receipts; he, on his part, engaging to negotiate for her appearance at different theatres, and to superintend all the business operations. The penalty fixed for the breach of the agreement by either party was 100,000f. In virtue of the* agreement, M. Roux accompanied Mdlle. Lola to several towns in France, Belgium, and Germany, and caused her to dance at the respective theatres. He had also arranged for her appearance in some of the theatres of Prussia, but the authorities compelled her and him to leave the country. They arrived at Paris, and M. Roux, in his capacity of " pilot," applied to- the Vaudeville, the Cirque,- and other theatres, for engagements for her. While occupied in tbe necessary negotions he learnt to his surprise that Mdlle. Lola was about to leave for America without him, in company with a Mr. Willis. The departure was even announced in the newspapers. On this he gave her notice that he expected her to execute her agreement, and she at first professed herself ready to do so, but afterwards refused. He had since procured her engagements at the Vaudeville and the Opera National, and, on account of her neglect to fulfil them, he now demanded B,ooof. as damages. The advocate of Mdlle. Montes said, that the fact was that M. Roux himself wanted to get rid of the agreement, and had invented the charge as a breach of it by Lola as a convenient means of doing so. In taking him as her "pilot," she had expected that he would be a travelling companion who would watch over her interests, and she had engaged to dance six times a week. But he treated her as his temporary property, out of which he was to get as much as he could, and as quickly as possible. He had made her dance every day and even several times a day. He had so fatigued her that more;than once she fell exhausted on the stage."—Yet, the next morning, as early as four o'clock, he had presented himself at her bedside, and compelled her to depart. In addition to this he had failed in the respect due to her dignity as a woman. She was accustomed to receive visits after her performance, and on such occasions he pompously presented her to her guests as his enfant terrible, and invented ridiculous anecdotes and circumstances concerning her. Moreover, he had written an absurd biography of her, and had had it distributed during the performances. In this notable production he represented that she did not pass herself off as a first-rate danseuse, but as danseuse de fantasia. He stated that she was born at Seville in 1524, and at the age of five went with her father to India " where she spent 11 years in visiting the different cities of Hindostan, China, and Persia, the language of which countries she speaks fluently;" and where, also, " she learnt drawing, history and geography." Still, he continued, dancing was always her. passion. Her wit, too, even at an early age, was so extraordinarily great that it attracted the attention of the highest personages, of governors, of rajahs, and of. his Majesty the King of Nepaul., Her education, he proceeded, had been of the most brilliant kind. Some journalists whom she had declined to receive had written ignoble tales about her, but she despised them. Apart from her eccentricity, she possessed, he assured his readers, kindness of heart, charity, and affability. "At the age of 16 she went to London, where several lords, to whom she was recommended, caused her to. appear at Her Majesty's Theatre. Her beauty and love for dancing drew her to Paris; but the unfortunate Dujarrier affair caused her to sign an engagement for Russia, where she was well received? 5 She afterwards went to Munich. "History," continued the biographer, •'- would record her other doings.- But he might say that the great power of which she had possessed herself, and her political views as to the reform of the Jesuits (here a shout of laughter broke from the auditory) occasioned her departure from Bavaria. She went to London,-where a great lord married her. In 1850 they-found that their characters could not sympathise, and she returned to the dreams of her spring."^ And the biography concluded with this profound

sentence.—" Explain who can, but no one can, her burning brain and eccentric character, which have rendered her so celebrated ; she has yet only run the half of her career, for she leaves in November for America, and God knows the rest ?" As long (the advocate continued) as Madame de Landsfelt saw herself treated as a wild animal shown at a fair, she contented herself with shrugging her shoulders with disgust; but when she saw the veil which covered her private acts raised she expressed loud indignation, and said to Roux, "It is lucky for you, Sir, that my husband is not here, for he would break your head." On this Roux declared himself insulted, and took to flight. She came to Paris on the 6th. Her intention was to dance, if Roux found her any engagement, and to leave for America on the 20th. This he knew, but he did nothing, and she heard nothing of him before the 10th, when he notified to her that she would have to execute her engagement. But he did not say where, on what day, or on what conditions. On the 12th he summoned her to name an arbitrator to decide on the differences which had arisen between them, but when she had done so he commenced an action. She then notified to him that she intended to send off her costumes on the loth, and to embark on the 20th. It was then that by means of a false declaration he had obtained authority to seize her costumes and other effects; That seizure had, however, been set aside. Ho now pretended that he had got an engagement for her, but he could not prove it, and, at all events, had not communicated the conditions to her. It was clear, therefore, that his demand ought to be rejected. The Tribunal decided that, as Roux had not proved that he had entered into any serious treaty with any theatres of Paris, unless it were the Opera National, and as he had not notified any treaty to Md11e..,-Lola Montes, she could not be bound to execute any. It accordingly rejected his demand, and condemned him* to the costs.— Galignani's 3lessenger.

The Late Duke op Wellington.—Yesterday, pursuant to notice issued by the command of "his Excellency the Governor-General, the union jack at Government House and at the Forts, was kept flying at half-mast from eight o'clock in the morning until sunset, as a mark of respect to the memory of the late Duke of Wellington. The occasion was further observed by nearly all the ships in the harbour, who displayed their flags half-mast high, during nearly the whole of the day —by the-appearance of the military in full uniform —and by the firing of 65 minute guns at Fort Phillip, being the number of years devoted by his Grace to the public service.— Sydney Empire, Dec. 14.

A miserly old man has appointed the Queen residuary legatee to his large fortune. Various, stories have been afloat differing greatly in the estimate of the riches left by deceased; but the Kentish Gazette gives this circumstantial account of the matter :—" Last week Mr. John Camden Neild, of Lincoln's-inn, barrister-at-law, died at Chelsea, aged 72 years. He was possessed of an immense fortune, but was of very eccentric and penurious habits. At the death of his father, 30 years since, he came into possession of about £250,000, which sum had not been touched up to the period of his death. The deceased was never known to have a great coat. He usually dressed in a blue coat, with metal buttons, which he prohibited being brushed, as it would take off tbe nap and deteriorate its value. He held considerable landed property in Kent and in Bucks, and was always happy to receive an invitation from his tenantry to visit them, which he occasionally did, often remaining a month at a time, as he was thus enabled to add to his savings. His .appearance and manners led strangers to imagine that he was on the lowest verge of penury, and their compassion was excited in his behalf, of which many instances might be printed. A few days before his death the. deceased told one of his executors that he had made a most singularwill, but as the property was his own he had done as be pleased with it. The executors are the Keeper of tbe Privy Purse for the time being (Dr. Tattam) and" Mr. J. Stephens, of Willesborougb. After bequeathing- a few very trifling legacies, the deceased has left the whole of his immense fortune to "Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Victoria: begging her Majesty's most gracious acceptance of the same, for her sole use and benefit, and of her heirs," &c\ The property is estimated at upwards of £500,000. For some years past Mr. Neild has

scarcely allowed himself the common necessaries of life; and he has left a poor old housekeeper, who was with him for more than 26 years, without the smallest provision or acknowledgment for her protracted and far from agreeable or remunerative services."

Louis Napoleon and Benjamin D'lseaeli. —There is some parallelism between the French President and the English Chancellor of the Exchequer. Mr. Disraeli's debut in the House of Commons was as inauspicious a start as Louis Napoleon's discomfitures at Strasbourg andßoulogne ; yet, by dint of perseverance, and dexterity in seizing opportunities of selfaggrandisement, the one has come to be dictator in France, and the other to be Ministerial leader of the Commons in England. There is something of similarity in the men too, as well as in the incidents of their career. Both are book-writers, with an equal reputation for more iff ingenuity than sound judgment. Mr. Disraeli is garrulous, Louis Napoleon is taciturn : time will show whether it is the difference between a man of words and a man of action, or that between a speaking actor and a pantomi-. mic performer. The principles they have from time to time professed sit equally light upon both; both are unscrupulous in the use of means. Mr. Disraeli pays his supporters in words—or bills, of which it may be doubted whether they represent any tangible values :: Louis Napoleon pays his in railway and other jobs, or in solid cash. Mr. Disraeli has risen iv the ranks of a regular political army*from subordinate to higher stations, as his leaders died off: Louis Napoleon has made a career,' for himself. But, on the other hand, Mr. Dis-, raeli, having nothing but his own personal ta-. Jents to rely upon, has distanced competitors possessed of rank, wealth, and family alliances;; while Louis Napoleon, inheriting his uncle's: name 1, has been welcomed as a pis-aller by many despairing of any other means to escape, from a state of permanent anarchy. Both have, achieved position and power; neither has yet. turned that power to practical account for society. Both are regarded with a sort of stupefied wonder, as individuals whose pretensions, but.: yesterday the jest of all, are to-day crowned i with success beyond their most presumptuous \ hopes.— Spectator.