THE BETTER 'OLE

Levin Daily Chronicle, 25 July 1918, Page 4

THE BETTER 'OLE

AN AUCKLAND DUO-OUT. WELL-BOOMED ATTRACTIONS. A unit of the Medical Corps somewhere in France, and formerly of its attractions: — FOE SALE—FOE LEASE—TO LET. On Any Terms. "The Better' Ole," Slush Valley, somewhere in France. Owner prepared to sacriflcc. Desirous of leaving country for New Zealand. A modern Dwelling Place! Well sheltered from cold winds, if they ever blow from any quarter. On e room, 7x4x3, accommodates two persons (comfortably or otherwise, no strap hangers. Walls.—Buff plaster, clayish tinge, and affectionate nature. Ceiling.—Rusticated iron panels— corrugated patterns. Every possible inconvenience ( fresh ones added daily).. Water and Gas laid on at times. Sliding Stairway (especially in wet weather). Cold Showers laid on in bedrooms (tin hats, dixies, and bodyshields may be commandeered to turn them oft.) Plunge Bath, situated at foot of sliding stairway, may also be used as wading pool for children or ducks. Heating Service. —Two large 'eaters! "Stove in" entrance. Plenty of Dripping on premises (owner will leave this behind for tenant). Sleeping Accommodation. — Two stretchers. Army pattern (will stretch sufficiently to reach water on floor). Music —continuous —supplied by men chosen from every nation and country, including all the "Big Guns,, of Germany and England; biss drums and kettle drums (Krupp,' Maxim and Lewis patterns), whistling centettea, prof, shells —vocal solos, Madam or Mademoiselle 'Skylark (no, Boosey instruments on premises). Grounds. —Volcanic appearance, lately turned over at considerable expense. Garden and Fields. —Kept dug and ploughed by '' kultured'' aartilleryt—tillery system. Lawns. —Mowed by machine guns. Paths, —Shelled. . • Crops.—Fine weather crops up now and again. Mail.—Delivered once in a while. Air-Plane Service passes the door. Good neighbours, no stray cats or dogs; doctor close handy. A Going Concern —a bit more goes each day. The whole thing liable to go up in smoke any moment.