MRS 'ARRIS ON LUCK.

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 1 April 1920, Page 4

MRS 'ARRIS ON LUCK.

♦ There's an old saying (remarkad Mrs 'Arris) as 'ow it's better to be born lucky than itch (or words to that defect), and no ioubt its quite kerect. I were talking on the subject to Mr Blumps, the dustman, a very pleasant gentleman, though suffering Srom ashma, which is 'ardly to be wondered at, and I 'appened to say as 'ow black cats was supposed to be lucky. "Don't you believe it," says V and'e tells me as 'ow once when 'c were stooping to stroke a black cat 'c finds 'arfa suffering (this being in the days before Tr.ash.ery notes, as they call 'em) lying on the ground, and the very first pub 'c came to 'c was pinched for trying to pass bad money. Well, the first time 'c went out after that 'c sees the identical black cat sitting on a wall, so 'c 'eaves a brick at it, and smashes a window. As unluck would 'aye it, there were apleeceman watching 'im (they're always about when they're not wanted), and Mr Blumps says now as the only pleasure 'c gets out of life is by drowning kittens for people as is too tender 'carted to do it themselves. But it's always them as don't want things as get 'em in this world. The other day I bought a ticket in a raffle (as they call it) at a Christmas buzzer or sell of work 'eld in conglomeration with the Sunday school which I always send the children to, being most pertikler as to their upbringing and liking a nap on Sunday afternoons. I Threepence I paid for the ticket and the prize were a very 'andsome 'at with feathers practically unworn, which it still is for all I know, 'cos the curie won it. Funnilly enough it was 'im '00 was selling the tickets, not as I wish to infer nothing, 'c being as open as the day tho' squints slightly, pore gentleman, but it just shows you. But there "life is all a gambol" as the saying is, and we're all after somethink for nothink, but there's very few as gets it except members of Parliament; but hope springs internal in the human beast, and 'Arris for one was always trying to think of a way to make 'is fortune without working for it. Racehorsing and cardplayering wos two ways 'c 'ad of losing money as 'c 'adn't got. but luck was always against 'im. I well remember 'im coming 'ome one night very indignat and telli ing me as 'ed only just missed winning a large sum of money at I cards. j " Oh." says 1, " 'ow wos that ?" ''Why," 'c shouts, " the dismistrustfui 'ounds refused to use my pack of cards." But pore 'Arris were always one '00 took things to 'cart, and in a way it were a mercy 'c wert took before they introduced this Government oil (as they call it). I rekerlect once we wos at a fair, and 'c were trying 'is skill at a dart throwing competition. 'E ! scored 28, chiefly because 'is 'and were unsteady, and the proprietor says : "Ah, very good score, sir," 'c says. "If you'd scored two more you'd 'aye won a twenty j pound gold watch and chain." "Ah," says 'Arris, excited, "and wot do I get now ?" I "A balloon or nuts," says the i proprietor, and 'Arris got fined I forty shillings over the affair. I But still at this time of the : year we must look on the bright side, and I'm sure I wish you 1 very 'earty "All the complaints i of the season."