Page 4 Advertisements Column 3

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 2 October 1919, Page 4

THE SUBALTERN'S JOKE. » Captain Williams and Mr Milno came along the road to the Rest Camp together. They were quite steady, quite sedate. Ah, you get a fine dinner for five francs at the " Cafe de I'Alliance" in , you know the placo! But they were blotteau. A delightful expression, this.'* blotteau." It is ..one of those FrancoUritish mixtures that tell volumes in a single word. Taice two French, beers, three glasses of Burgundy, and one still' whisxy, and you will probably feel biotteau. Blotting-paper well soaked, limp and restful and comfortable, that is what you should feel like. But not drunk, never drunk. You m ast retain your faculties Captain Williams was solemn, impressed with his 1 xalted position. Three pips, mind you, not one, like young Milne at his sido. Young Milne retained his sense of humour. Hia head sang and he plaunea mischief. Quoth the Captain, presently,, with an important cough, "Hem—wouldn't be a bad idea to—to turn out the guard." Young mine saw his opportunity. " I should, sir," ho said, " they're apt to be slack down here at the Base. But you can't do it," lie added as an afterthought. " Can't do it? Wiry not? I shall doit." "Well, there's a bit of a breeze, and the guard would smell that you'd been drinking," said Milne. '• I— drinking!" ?aid the Captain. " Can you- -cr —snail anything ?" " Rather!" Then followed a moody silence. " Tell you what, sir," said the Subaltern brightly, " make 'em put their gas-masks on." # •::■ ■;.- ---" Guard, turn out," thundered the Captain, standing at a safe distance from the guard-tent. The scufHe of h<avy fett and the woody clatter of rilles. "All present, Sergeant?" asked the Captain, keeping his back well turned to the guard. " Box respiratois on ?" Yes, sir." •'Gas alert!" cried tho Captain, waited a moment, and then added, " Gas: ' Ten forma with deft movements hid their faces behind the. goggled masks. The Captain swung round atid faced them, breathing freely now. '■ Guard, present —arms. Slope— aims, (jrder—arms. Slope—arms. JL>is—ciiss V Solemn and satisfied, lie strolled to his tent in the oilicors' line, If 3on dry your wet blotting-paper too quickly it becomes crinidy, hard, and useless. That was tho condition of Captain Williains's brain on the morning alter. The Quartermaster Sergeant laid a few papers before him for signature. One he picked up with a worried look. "What's this? 'Box-res- { piraioi\«, small, ten.' Why are you indenting for these ? All tho men have got them, haven't they ?" *' Ten have boon condemned, sir, by the Gas Uilicur," suid the ' Quarter.' 14 How's that ?" abkod tho Captain I -lully. • The guard was tinned out with' em i on, sir, last night. The Gas l.'ilicer j soys the chemicals in thorn has be^n spoilt by fumes of a spirituous nature acting on them injuriously." The Captain's brain was dull and heavy and dry. Re signed, the indent for " Box respirators, small, t on," and un ordoily departed to draw them from Ordnance. " Er—' Quarter ' '. " called tho Captain. " Yes, sir." A horrible doubt assailod him. " Who is tho Battalion Gas Oilicer? 1' " Mr Milne, sir." O.T.S. CATTLE TICK. 1 There is considerable interest in Queensland in the tick outbreak in New Zealand, Experts there cannot quite understand how the pest could have got entry from Australia, says an Australian writer. During the past ten years its advance south has been held in check in the middle of the Richmond River dairying districts, and strict supervision ■ regulates ingress and egress. In the early days of the ravages in Queensland it made rapid movement south—comparatively rapid at any rate. Unscrupulous men were blamed for this— that class which is always vowing vengeance against the squatter. It was known that ticks carried in a matchbox greatly spread the infestation. Probably the match-box theory explains the occurrence in the Dominion. A feature of the insect is the marvellous fecundity 'of the female. She has been known to produce up to 3000 eggs. It does not thrive in any but humid districts, but where it is suited climatically it may j be found in warm weather in countless 1 millions. If a piece of white cloth is thrown on the grass in an infested paddock, in a few moments it will be a crawling muss. One may see the young brood huddled together in a moving heap revelling in the sun—waiting for a bovine host to come along to pick. Woods' Great Peppermint Cure, For Coughs and Colds, never fails.