ESSAY ON DOG AND DOGGIE

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 11 May 1916, Page 3

ESSAY ON DOG AND DOGGIE

(by helensville old dog.)

".When I ope my mouth, let no man

bark."—Shakespeare,

THE recent stir in the minds of dog-owners within the Town Board belt, has now been amicably settled. At first some owners wanted the tax to be half-a-crown for sheep and cattle dcgs and ten shillings for " fancy dogs," such as "Bob" and "Alec," and other well-known tikes of the town, but common-sense at last prevailed amongst the Town Board breed, and it was eventually decided to " split the difference," and tax the ever faithful "' Old Dog Tray " 7/6 per annum all round.

Yes, " Old Dog Tray " was ever faithful; he was always kind and true; but then, too, there are a lot of curs about, who don't and wouldn't be allowed to fraternise in.the same street, nor to "play in our back-yard." " Dogs !" Their name is legion, so varied are their size, disposition, and breeding. Therefore "give a dog a bad name and it will stick to him " ; the bad name is often applied to man (as a dog) in various forms, and when you call a man a stingy dog, a mean dog, or a dirty dog, it is worse than swearing at him; or even " the dog" is taken to be an insult. Yes, and sometimes man is also called "a puppie," another insult. But the "real" dog is a pleasure, and faithful to his master's voice.

The dog stands upon four legs, wags his or her tail, excepting when the tail wags the dog, and is of every colour and hue under the sun, excepting blue, unless it be in the gills. Green is a very common colour for a dog, especi" ally if he is an Irish rebel, while the little Irish setter is a beauty and a rusty red at that. Sometimes a dog is that useful he is put into a machine and turned out as a German sausage.

Many dogs are a cursed nuisance, and when not yelping or barking, are showing their teeth, or looking out to steal the bone that a good deserving dog cannot find in the cupboard or butcher's shop. Of the poodle dog I have not much time for, therefore leave the kid out. Of course the sheep and cattle dog, and the gundog, bull dog mastiff, and greyhound are the most useful and valuable; some worth their weight in gold almost, let alone an annual tax of 7/6. And, of course, the sooner he dies, the less he costs.

Some dogs get stuffed and put into a glass case for show. This infliction may happen some day to "Bob," "Alec," or "Sam." Bob is top-dog in Helensville, and said to be father to Alec, and a great many other dogs, who take a lot of water to get the mud off when they go rambling round looking after Spring chickens. Sometimes these dogs scarcely speak to each other, they are so proud, each going their own undivided way as if they had a morning call to make on their own in Garfield Street, Commercial Road, or down by the muddy river-side.

Of what relationship can dog be to man ? one is apt to enquire, but since dog was landed from Noah's Ark some years ago, man lias had to suffer much from being called a ferocious dog, wicked dog. craven dog, callous dog, canny dog, savage dog, halfstarved dog, lying dog, crying dog, cranky dog, greedy dog, rowdy dog, prowling dog, baldheaded dog, shaggy dog, mad dog, and I don't know how many more uncouth names, suffice to say that a few of the latter ought to be shot. And last of all, there is another dog at large : he is full of fleas and patronises the picture show freely, and, of course, gets in free with all his live stock, torturing the poor, patient patron, who has paid for comfort and amusement, for two hours at a stretch. Dog-owners should know better, and tie their lice(nced)-infected animals up before going out to shows.

There is a lot of poetry about the good and bad dog, and the man. Here is a little bit: —A dog sat out in the midnight chill and howled at the beaming moon; his knowledge of music was strictly nil, and his voice was out of tune. And he howled and howled as the hours went by, while dodging dead fish we thi'ew, till the moon was low in the western sky and his voice was split in two. And there wasn't a thing over whioh to howl, over which a pup would w-^?,p, and the course of the do^; w.i- w *:>iv? and full, for people were wit i i".o sleep. " There ape plenty of m?n. like that blanked fool ho in ', .\<ho yell when there's nothing .vVong-, dis^ tuL'bingthe country with senseless sound — - the. pessimist's doleful song.''