PAT'S SOLILOQUY

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 10 February 1916, Page 3

PAT'S SOLILOQUY

MiSTHER EDITHUR — Sur,—Bedad an' thar wus grate excoitment in this big saity, so thar wus, this marning, when a visitar from Auckland came out in iz barth phants, and divil a bit ay close did he aye on fram th' tip ov iz nose down to iz toes. Well, he met oi^r p.qhchin.an, Misther Doyle, az foin a fellah az yez seez in a day's march, and iz modhesty compelled 'im_ to spake to th' man wid the short p,hants. on. 'Phare are yez, going to ? sez, Misther Doyle., a,nd 'p,h.ar c are yez phants,? ye wall \\aY ta go and dhr'ess yerself, sez he, Ye 2 zee, Misther Doyle iz a very modhest gintleman an maybe thought some ay th' young loidies moight come along—an yez know th' young loidies here are moighty modest — and Misther Doyle he thinks they moight go into histhericks, so, says he, yez must go an dhress yerself. Well, Misther Edithur, th' fahst young man \n the disgrashful rig, thouglrttb, p/ilichnjan had no rqight to }nterf«r-b wid 'im or iz phants, and he could not change in the strate, so he told Misther Doyle to go to th/ divil wid himself; that he 'ad no other phants to put on, Then, my man, come along to the lock-up wid me. Not if I knows it, says our fasht young man, I'll seez yez blhoed fust. So Misther Doyle caught 'im be th' scrupp ov th' neck and a hand fast in th' back ov his phants. He was pushing 'im along to th' lock-up at th' rate of four mihles an hours, so Skhipper Vivian says, an yez knows those skhippers never make a misthake in speed. Lucky for tl^e man, |n th shqrt phants^ they met a phat little gintleman with specks on just at McEwin's corner. Hulow, sez he, what's up wid him? Has some won torn th legs off his phants ? Have yez been out in th' sun, me man ? F'awt yez mane, sez th' man in th' short phants, de yez mane Oi've ben dhrunk ? - Just let me go, an O'ill nock his specs off for insulting a gintleman ! Oi mane no insult, aute,' Oi only thought yez had a sun,-s.throke. Misther Doyle, let im go, hez all right. |Qi can't let im go in this rig, suppose.

that young lady 1 saw yez kissing, under, the pine tr.ee, the qthey. ni^ht w-has to com along and see this man in a rig like this, she would be sure ta take a phit or phaint. Right yez are, says Specks; O'ill take him in and give him a pare of phants. All right, sez Doyle, and th' man in th' short phants and th' man in th' specs disappeared into th' house, and th' sti'ate was quiet wance more.— That's all, sur, from

Fat O'Raferty