Telegraph Humour.

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 2 October 1914, Page 2

Telegraph Humour.

There are several good examples of telegraphic errors in an article, "Humour in the Telegraph Otnce," in ' Chambers' Journal.'

A despatch in the ' Ottawa Evening Journal,' dated Dauphin, Manitoba, June 18th, and announcing the result of the voting in the Kinisteho district of the vote, Meyers and Nott Shadd, a negro, elected for the constituency." It should have been of course, "Meyers, and not Shadd."

Many blunders of a local character in the Australian Press might also be recorded, but sometimes these arise through the ambiguous wording of a message, as happened in the following case.

A member of Parliament was to have made a speech at a. certain town, and, being unable to do so because the heavy rains had damaged a branch railway, he sent a telegram as follows : " Cannot come. Wash out on line." In a few hours the reply came : "Never mind. Borrow a shirt."

Some years ago, when it was proposed to subsidise a new steam-

ship line between Canada and Australia, it was found impossible at the moment to carry out the proposed arrangements owing to the attitude of the Queensland .Government, which insisted, as a condition to paying a subvention, that the steamers should call at both Maryborough (or some other port) and lirislmne. The New South Wales (rovornment, which, are negotiating tin- mailer, telegraphed back: "Brisbane or Maryborough, not both." To which they received the reply : "lioth or none." Not to be outdone in curl loss and courtesy, they wired bad. : •None." The above incident is related from memory, but it is accurate in essential de- ! tails. It does not often happen that a j proposal of marriage ,is made by ' telegi aph ; but this occurred in the ! case of a Belgrade clerk, who, on! the strength of a sudden increase i in salary, telegraphed to a young j lady, asking her to sh.vre his fortunes. The local regulation allows ten wcrds for the minimum i""p, and the answer, which was prepaid, came back as follows : "Yes, .gladly, willingly, joyfiilly, delightfully,! gratefully, lovingly. Yes, yes, yes."