Amusing Native Letters.

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 4 September 1914, Page 2

Amusing Native Letters.

Correspondence clerks usually have a fund of funny stories of peculiar letters addressed to business firms. , Many of the letters received by commercial houses in South Africa are particularly amusing, as a large percentage of their "country orders" are from natives in all parts of the sub-Continent. Some of them are highly educated at the various native colleges, and their letters are flourishing, elaboratelyworded 'affairs ; while others in distant territories are yet almost in their "raw" state, with just the little knowledge of English which the missionaries have been able to teach them. They all send orders to the town stores, and the accompanying letters often cause a smile round thn oflice.

A Kaffir "hoy" had scut an order to a large firm, but the enclosure was missing. He was-duly notified that the order would be held over pending the arrival of the money-order. Ba>-!' name a letter which, was certainiv to the point. "You say I didn't s«r.d t,bo money ">"

he wrote. "Well, you are d liars '" His case was at once investigated ! Iri quite another strain c.inie a letter from a native of I'ocluianaland, whose order had gone astray : "Dear sirs," he began, "I wait and wait by the railway for two days for that suit, and it don't come. Please, sir, to send it, because I am so sad for that suit !" While every care is talcen to despatch country orders promptly, the yroat distances and frequent wash-.a-\vfiys oi'ten cause delay. This generally draws considerable correspondence from the natives in outlying districts, either threatening, pleading or abusing. A "basuto." who happened to be pleased with his purchase, informed the firm of the i..ct as follows : " The suit rich me 1 lease, and it is quite well, thank you !" Another native of Pondoland was slow at paying up, and he had been dunned repeatedly but without effect. After a lont>; time the firm received a letter from a native of the same tribe: "Dear sir," it ran, "you needn't send any more bills to my cousin ; he's dead and gone to heaven, and he doesn't want any account ." Needless to say, this was written up against the " bad debts." Another recent native order read: "I want a r&ti, red handkerchief, as red as blood, with not a drop of white in it." A Zulu "boy" whose patience was exhausted, evidently thought a spirit of friendliness would have desired elioct, for he addressed his "complaint" personally to the august head of the-firm. "Dear Blank," he wrote, " what's up with you, man ?" Tha natives are business-like, good payers, and, on the whole, excellent customers !