MAKING USE OF FRIENDS.

Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 10 July 1914, Page 8

MAKING USE OF FRIENDS.

When Edison, the inventor, was living- in Monlo Park, a visitor from New York said to him one day— "By the way, your front gate wants repairing. It was all I could do to get it open. You ought to have it trimmed, or greased, or something." Mr. Edison laughed. "Oh, no," he said. "Oh, no." "Why not ?" asked the visitor. "Because," was the reply, "everyone who comes through that gate pumps two buckets of water into the tank on the r»of."

altogether. The Elevated Railway, though it gives one a feeling- of being monarch of till one surveys, and incidentally gives one glimpses into the domestic and office life of New York, looks too precariously perched on its high girders to make altogether for a feeling of safety. It is no matter for astonishment that occasionally it topples over.

The Underground, on the other hand, is like some unwieldly noisy chariot bearing lost' souls to Hades —souls lost through a fatal passion for chewing gum. The writer saw more gum chewers in the Underground than anywhere else, and to sit opposite half a dozen of these with no means of escape is an experience one has no wish to repeat. At every station there are automatic machines purveying this Yankee delight.

]t is diflicult, moreover, to make one's exit gracefully from the Underground. One has literally to take a flying leap over a dark void, so wide is the space that separates the train from the platform. New York bristles with dangers for the London "bumpkin," and yet the favourite expression of tram and train conductors is "step lively."

A frightfully henpecked man was summoned to the bedside of his dying spouse. For forty years she had made his life a burden. "I think I am dying, David," she said ; "and before I leave you I want to know if I shall see you in a better land." "I think not, Nancy," he replied— "not if I see you first." The American abroad does not lose his head easily. An Italian showed a Yankee tourist Vesuvius in eruption, anfl thought surely that must stir his awe. But the American., after gazing for a moment at the burning mountain, said :— "We've got a waterfall that would put that out in five minutes."

they can't possibly use, and, as you can't leave business, I'm going to ask Nettie Brown to go with me. You will ait up if you're home first, won't you, dear ?" But Mr. Johnson's reply was lost in the noise whifeh told that he had hung up the receiver with a vicious bang.