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Kaipara and Waitemata Echo, 3 April 1914, Page 2

Western Official: "Do you take j this woman whose hand you're a- i squeezin' to be your lawful wife, in j flush times an' skimp '?" j "I reckon that's about the size of j it, squire." } "Do you take this man you've j j'ined fists with to be your pard through thick an' thin ?" "Well, you're about right for once, old man." "All right, then. Kiss in court, an' I reckon you're married about as tight as the law kin j'ine you. I guess four bits '11 do, Bill, if I don't have to kiss the bride. If I do, it's six bits extra." Mrs. Norris : "Since I have been married I have had only one wish ungratified." Mr. >, orris : "And what is that, my dear ?•" Mrs. Norris : "That I were single again." Miss Daisie Irving, writing in ' Theatreland,' says one of the funniest letters ever sent to her was from a little girl, and began : — "Dear Miss Irving,—l do love you so. Will you send me a picture postcard ? I think you are so like my mother. She is in a lunatic asylum." 1382.