"BATTLE OF OTAGO HEADS."

Kumara Times, Issue 3134, 19 November 1886, Page 3

"BATTLE OF OTAGO HEADS."

The humourous writer " Verdant and Venerable," in the Dunedin Herald, gives the following account by a tai or friend (a Volunteer) of the „ Battle of Otago Heads," or Review of the Otago Volunteers on the Prince of Wales' Birthday :

On reading the report of Sir George Whitmore's speech and the newspaper accounts, we concluded that (he " Battle of Otago Heads" had been a complete success. Our tailor (who is a Volnnteer), however, nays that it was the "awfnllest rot out," and swears he would not attend another dam—no

| sham—fight for £SO. He says :" We hardly got time to got our breakfast on Tuesday morning, and was hurried off to the train in order that we might go down to the Heads early. When we got to the Poit, though, we found no boats ready to take us down, and for three mortal hours we had to stand round a-coo!ing our heels and swearing. Then, when we did get down at last, we was landed at the bay side of the Peninsula, and marched 20 miles (his own figures) through the blankest, roughest country a man ever seen, and then without any rest or 'tucker' ordered to attack the enemy who were

For continuation, see last page.

posted on top of n mountain nineteen thousand feet high (doubtless this is,a slight exaggeration) the sides of which were all shifting sand,' which ' »ov' under your feet and lot yon slide down pretty near as fast, as you climbed up. We got up the blanked bill somehow, and forced.!he enemy to retire, but I reckon if it had been real warfare wo would nil-have been blown to —(Hade.-, let us say)—ln-fore we was half way up. When we'hiid carried the position, a lot of fools belonging to the enemy advanced to within twenty yards of our position—though they had not a round of nnimnuiMou, and had to climb the hill in the face of a fire that would have cut them down like grass—and wanted to attack us again. Oh ! 'he thin« was mismanaged." " Well," said we, cross questioning the iritl-gnant tailor, "did Sir George see much of the fight or give anv orders'?" " Hirn," —in tones of great contempt—" Why he did not walk f)0 yards nil day, and did nothing except talk a lot of * high falutin ' to the men in the evening." "Did they fiie off the big guns at the Heads?" " Yes, I reckon they did. They opened fire on us half-an hour before they saw us, or knew where we was, and besides breaking the skylight windows in the dredge they deafened some of the men to that extent they could'ut hear you if you asked them to have something to drink." "Then they must have made ♦ hem very deaf indeed. How did yon get home after it all?" "Well, I started for home in the big dredge with 5000 other fallows (this Volunteer's figures sre unreliable, we think), but j the blanked old tub ran aground at ' Ravonsliourne, and we had to wait two or thiee hoars till a steamer camednwm and took us off. When I got home I! wis wringiV wet, and was so hungry that I cnulJ a' eat my boots. No morn sham battles .for me if I know it." We give our tailor friend's account of the sham fight, for what it is worth, hit* perhaps a good many might be found to agree with him.