Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Kumara Times, Issue 2808, 21 September 1885, Page 4

THE FLYING DUTCHMAN IS NOW SELLING, DAILY, IN KUMAEA AND DILLMAN’S TOWN. ALL HAIL ! THE FLYING DUTCHMAN COMES ! SOUND THE TIMBREL ! BEAT THE DRUMS ! THIS MUST BE THE VERY MAN WHO CROSSED THE SEA IN A FRYINGPAN. Oh ! did you see the fun In Kumara on Saturday night ? The place was all in commotion, You would think there was a fight: A missionary preaching in the street. The Brass Band they did baulk it ; But the best of all the fun Was down at Paddy’s Market; The Flying Dutchman, he was there As big as the Chinese giant. Storekeepers peeping in the door, But the Dutchman looked defiant. The storekeepers said “ Poor me ! I’m afraid the Flying Dutchman Will put us up a tree !” The butchers they were there Just looking round, so Pat, Admiring of the beef, With streaks of lean and fat ; I heard one of them say a It is no earthly use, We must bring down our price, Or Yance will cook our goose !” Japardo Francis Polo, Binging the bell so sweet, Sings out “ My pretty ladies, Come and try the Dutchman’s meat! It is not to be excelled, It is so prime and round, And I will put it in to you At just four pence per pound !” The ladies look surprised As Japardo he did bawl; The temptation they could not resist, They actually took it all. To see the Dutchman’s loaded horse Puts you in mind of heaven ; It's not that horse, that old hair trunk. That belonged to Mrs Evan. He carries out beef and mutton in galore. And leaves it safe just at your door ; You will find it out all in the end, The Dutchman is the poor man’s friend. Crockeryware he has by tons, Without a crack or flaw, It is so nicely packed When it is in the straw. He has dishes plates and cups, With pretty flowers and berries, Pots, kettles, pans and tubs, Vegetable soup tureens, and vases. A lady called them jam-pots, I think ’twas Mrs Mandles, I heard her say “ The Dutchman Has them with two handles." He has good hams and bacon, And primest Cheshire cheese, At prices that I'm sure Will make you sneeze ; There is just one fault in it I heard Sam say to Ike, And that is the more you eat of it The more you’ll like. And O, the Dutchman's tea, It is from such a noted place ; The ladies they do drink it Until they’re black in the face. Now should you want to keep Your boots from cracking, All you should do is, Try the Dutchman's blacking ; The polish on your boots Will shine with such a grace. You will want no looking-glass, To see your bonny face His London starch, just only think, A man once in mistake did drink. His wife she told his neighbour; The words she did not mince, Oh, Mr Brown, she said, He has been stiff ever since. His soap and candles, jams and matches. The people buy them all in batches ; His scissors, spoons, and forks and knives, You'll find w ith all the poor men’s wives. His currants, raisins, and plums, For Christmas puddings, by the tons ; Maizena, salmon, and herrings so large, ft's in the weight, not in the charge ; So save all the money yon possibly can, By dealing with the Flying Dutchman.