A TINKER’S DUTIES.

Kumara Times, Issue 1674, 9 February 1882, Page 2

A TINKER’S DUTIES.

[to the editor.] As a correspondent of the Hokitika evening paper has thought fit to define the duties of an editor, I hope to be permitted to make a few remarks upon another class of persons. Sir, there are tinkersj and tinkers. First we have the tinker of every day life, a most useful man in his way, provided that he is tolerably honest and skilful in his Calling, He mends our pots and our pans, and a thrifty housewife could hardly manage to get along without him. It is the duty of the tinker, pure and simple, to patch up old billies, and to restore to their battered lids something like newness, of form. It is, in fact, his duty to do anything in the tinkering line, but he should stop at that and not tempt Providence by attempting to do things altogether beyond his abilities. Then we have the “ political tinker, M and he speedily makes his presence known wherever he goes by becoming an utter nuisance. His principal amusement consists in trying to find evil motives for every thing that is done by anyone but himself. He usually makes a dead* set at two or three persons who happen to have fallen under his displeasure, and not content with vilifying them to an extent that is only permitted on account of his contemptibility, insists upon facing everyone he meets in the streets to listen to him. He is usually very great in municipal matters, and is bold enough to interpret the law on the subject. This is the political tinker, But next in order comes the worst of all the “ literary tinker.” I do not mean one who inscribes on his pots and pans the silly outpourings of a weak brain, but one who in some inscrutable manner becomes possessed of a real pen and some real paper. This is the man who knows all about editors and every* thing else. He will criticise the Im* perial Budget at a moment’s notice, and in five minutes settle the Turkish difficulty, and every other difficulty. He speaks or writes with confidence upon subjects of which he knows no more about than a mud-oyster does of the Latin grammar. But in one thing he is to be pitied : giving him a pen is something like putting artificial wings on a kiwi—neither know how to use them. Still, the literary tinker plods on, and when no one else will read his productions, he reads them aloud in the streets. Having said a few words as to the duties of tinkers in general, I now propose to say something as to what is not their duty. It is not their duty to cadge complimentary tickets from a Reception Committee, nor is it the correct thing to poke a nose of rather unprepossessing appearance into things which concern other persons only. It is not their duty to act as censors of the press, and frame idiotic laws and rules of their own for the guidance of editors. If the literary tinkers would only in mercy and charity occasionally abstain from pouring forth' their senseless absurdities, it would be a great blessing, and we might for a season be relieved of the incessant clatter of pots and pans.— I am, Sir, yours obediently, Tubal Cain. KLumara, January 26, 18S2.