MISCELLANEA.

Kumara Times, Issue 1512, 2 August 1881, Page 2

MISCELLANEA.

A New Orleans judge, tiding in the cars recently, £rdm a single glance at the countenance of a lady by his sidej imagined that he knew her, and vem tnred to say that the day was pleasant; She only answered : “ Yvs.” “ Why do you wear a veil 1” “ Lest T attract gentlemen.’' “It is the province of gentlemen to admire,” replied the gallant man of law. “Not when they are married.” “But lam not.” “In: deed !” “ Oh, no j I’m a bachelor.” The lady quietly lifted her veil, dLtilog: ing to the astonished magistrate the face of his mother-in-law. He hag been a raving maniac ever since.— Exchange. “ Any letter for me? ,! asked a young' lady of the female postmaster, in d country town. “ No,” was the reply, “ Strange,” said the young lady alontl to herself as she turned away. “ No* thing strange about it,” cried the female postmaster, through the delivery win* dow, “ you ain’t answered the last letter he writ ye !” Two ladies from the vicinity of Cleveland were recently discussing literature in the drawing-room of a Wajhington hotel: First lady—“ Above all modern novelists I admire George Eliot. Do you like him 1 I think he’s just grand, massive, superb!” First lady—“ So do I. And which of hia novels is your favorite ?” Second lady (reflectively) —“ Well, I think I prefer ‘ Daniel Veranda.’ ” —Brooklyn Eagle. “ Mils’ brace up,” said Sozzle, as be stood on the doorstep at one a.m., “’ll never do to let the old lady ’spect anythin’ and as Mrs S. descended the stairs, clad in her robe de nuit, Sozzle braced up, knocked the ashes off his cigar, and as the door opened, said cheerily j “ Hullo, M’ris, (hie) up yet 1 Gob a match in your pocket ?” “Of course she did not suspect anything. “ Dan,” said a young four-year-old, “give me a sixpence to boy a monkey 1” “ We have got one monkey in the home now,” replied the elder brother. “Who is it Dan T’ asked the little fellow. “You,” was the reply. “Then give me sixpence to buy the monkey some nuts.” The brother could not resist. “ Here, boy, hold my horse,” said a gentleman who had driven a wretchedly lean animal up to the door of a village inn. “ Hold him,” exclaimed the boy. “ Hold him i Jes’ lean him up against that young tree there, that’ll hold him !” A person who was looking at a house the other day said he could not afford to pay so much rent. “ Well, look at the neighborhood,” replied the woman. “ You can borrow flat-irons next door, coffee and tea across the street, flour suid sugar on the corner, the newspaper from lots of places (for when one is tired of lending it and gives it up in consequence, then yon can borrow it from another) and there’s a big piie of wood, belonging to the school-house, right across the right-of-way!” “ Death is a sad thing,” remarked a Schenectady woman, as she stood beside an open grave. “Yes, poor thing,” remarked another; “ how he did like to sit down to a good biled dinner when the pork was just right.”