MISCELLANEA.

Kumara Times, Issue 1464, 7 June 1881, Page 1

MISCELLANEA.

Says a contemporary : Legislature would pass a simple law depriving every celestial of his pig-tail whenever he landed in New Zealand, the Chinese difficulty would be absolutely determined for all time. A polltax has been suggested for Chinamen, but what better poll-tax could there be than the one we indicate.” Nothing, says our Scotchman, unless it (the Legislature) takes the poll. Outrage by a policeman,—Sam Johnsing was up again yesterday. “ What brings you here this time 1” asked the recorder. “De policeman ; de same what brung me heah last time.” “ I mean what did you do 1” “ I was jess passing in a grocery store, when I struck my head agin a bam what was hanging by de dore. I tuck the ham down to put it soraewbares whar it would be safe from folks bursting their brains out agin it, when the fust I knowd a policeman tried to get the ham away from me, and bekase I wouldn’t let de ham go, he jess brung me along too.”—Galveston News.

An honest Galveston shoemaker was strolling down the avenue, when, peering into a restaurant, what should he

see but One of his fashionable customers seated at a table hovered with all the delicacies of the season, including a large bottle of green seal, and twO canvas-back dllcfeg. Hashing in, the irate Galveston tradesman exclaimed; “ You haven’t got money to pay me fot the boobs you have got on, but you can afford to pay for all manner Of delicacies.” The young man wiped his moustache, and looking round to see that lie was not overheard, responded in a whisper, “ Don’t you be deceived by appearances. You must not lose confidence in me. I don’t expect to pay for this little banquet any more thatl I expect to pay for the hoots.” “ Yes,” said Mr Profitndity, “ it is the silent forces in nature that are the most potent ; it Is the silent strength of gravity that binds the world together; it is the silent pbwer of light that gives life and beauty to all things * it is the silent stream that is deepest j it is—” "It is the stil sow that gets the tilost swill,” Mrs P put in, seeing her liege lord had got to the end of his rope and similes. It was kind of her, but it somehow spoiled the effect of his dissertation.

A negro witness in a trial the other day was asked what he was doing in a certain liquor shop at a certain time. He explained that he had gone there to “ change hia breff; ” The explanation was accepted. A negro being asked what he was in jail for, said it was for borrowing money. “ But,*’ said the questioner, “ they don’t put people in jail for borrowing money.” “ Yes,” said the darkey ; “ but I had to knock the man down free or fo’ times before he wodld lend it to me.” An Irish crier at Ballinsloe being ordered to clear the court, did so by this announcement; “Now, then, all ye blackguards that isn’t lawyers must leave the coort.” “ You are a nuisance; I’ll commit you,” said an offended judge to a noisy person in court. “ You have no right to commit a nuisance,” said the offender.