A CUTE CONTRACTOR.

Kumara Times, Issue 1399, 26 March 1881, Page 2

A CUTE CONTRACTOR.

The Mudborrow elders had a big spiie on their meeting house, and on that spire a copper weathercock. Any change of wind under a gale this thercock refused to indicate, therefore the Mudborrow elders advertised in the paper for tenders to take down, clean, and oil the Mudborrow weathercock. When the tenders were opened, several tradesmen ran close, 420 doldars, 430 dollars, and so on, up to 500 dollars, but Helicon Cobdasher’s document signified his willingness to carry out the work named for 302 dollars. Helicon was a good workman, and his tender was unanimously accepted, through the lowness of the amount, but the extra two dollars gave Mudborrow worthies cause for much wonderment. Helicon erected his scaffold, got down the weathercock, polished and oiled it up equal to new, and sent it up to the preacher’s house in a barrow. Down came the parson to Helicon. “ What do you mean by sending the weathercock to my house, Mr Cobdasher r “ Waal, pason, I thought yu mot want en now he’s sorter shined up a bit. Look fetchin’ in the beat room windy, pason.” “ But, my good man, we require it replaced.” Oh ! think of Vising her up thar agin du yu.”

“ Of course we do ! Why man, can you be such an idiot as to imagine we want to keep it down here ?” “ Don’t get vilent, pasan. You may get some fixins on hand about as useful, but a darned site more eJcpensiv’ to keep.” ► “We expect yon to replace that weathercock, Mr Cobdasher.” “ Kan’t say as I hankers much of the job. I’m busy about t'eown for a week or two.” . “ Unheard of impertinence! We shall compel you under the contract, sir, to replace it immediately !” “Yaas, you may go your bottom piece you don’t! I tendered tu get that xigly copper citss down hyar, and clean an’ ile her arter she was hyar, but I reckon all the ink spilt on that contract don’t h’ist her a foot back agin, Anyhow !” The preacher ami elders met in solemn ‘conclave; several deacons , coaxed, cajoled, raved and stormed at Helicon tor a week, hut it was of no avail. Helicon told them on their last interview—“ It’s no tarnal tue yewr roarin’ aroun’ hyar, gen’len ; 250 dols. more an’ in two days from neow yewr copper'cropped rooster rests on a small end ov that spire in sekoority.” “If we are compelled to pay to get il up another tradesman shall do it, not ybn,” bellowed Deacon Smitthers, “ Sartingly ! Ef yon wish gen’lnum. I’ll jist git my scaffold aWay to give em room. Jonas ! Put the critter in the Shebang, and four or five of yon lads go down an’ shuv them sticks off the Spire d’rectly an’—” dear Mb Cohdashbr, how can ktiy one get rip there without your scaffold I” , Oh, it ain’t no trouble, bless you. Jist stick one o’ tliar own !”—[Confusion.] . “ That will cost as much as their original tender for the whole. Oh dear, d&r ! Properly refix that wfeatherfiockj Cobdasher and the 250 dols. are yours. “ K’rect deacon. Write dnt the larder thar ! Thankye, gen’ltlien, That’s a splendid bird of yoUrs, you bet. It’s a credit to the place an’ a bit of a debit tew the supporters ov the church, but ifc*B. k fine bird, GoOd day gen’lmen.” Jonas, the first hand, nudged Helicon after the “gen’lmen" left, and Whispered, “Say boss, what was that odd two dollars stuck on the fust tender ffir r u Tew coyer the drinks I’m bouii’ to kbm’ when this yarn, gits loose. Let’s git two ori account, Jonas.”