A STRICTLY PRIVATE VIEW OF THE MELBOURNE EXHIBITION.

Kumara Times, Issue 1332, 7 January 1881, Page 2

A STRICTLY PRIVATE VIEW OF THE MELBOURNE EXHIBITION.

[FROM MELBOURNE PUNCH.] [" A few days before the opening of the World's Fair, Mr R. S. Smythe, who was to leave immediately for New Zealand with Mr Proctor, was accorded the privilege of a private view. After surveying its various beauties he went out upon the roof to enjoy the loveliness of the surrounding country. When desiring to descend, he found that the doors were locked, and that he was a prisoner. Aa any attempt to burst open any of them would have been labor in vain, there was every prospect of the. sight-seer spending the night upon the roof. This catastrophe was fortunately averted by the gentleman contriving after some little time to make his position known to one of the officials."—Melbourne Argus.] Alone ! Now I am alone with myself and the circumambient atmosphere ! Here can I scratch a few delicious moments from the busy hum of the groveling world, and commune with the stars that even now stud the glorious firma-

meat. True I see them not, for it is daylight still, but I know they are there—Proctor told me so. Yes, there are other worlds than ours, t wonder, if I could giet JProCtof up to one of those other worlds* could t rim him successfully as a lecturer upon the Earth. What a glorious "idea ! I feel like a great hero sighing for other worlds to conquer at 4s, 3s, and backseats 2s> What a magnificent view of the outlying lands is to be had from this dome ! How jumbled up the buildings are, and what little pigmies the people seem ! There is, indeed, some subtle influence in man's breast whfch he is alone that compels him to sublime thoughts—thoughts upon the vastness of God's universe, mingled with the sweet satisfaction of knowing that nearly all the tickets are sold foe Monday night's lecture. I wonder where Proctor i$ now: Not being lionised, and "shouted" for by some of his admirers,. I hope* When a " star" drinks, his indefatig* able agent should always be in the drink* It looks well, and affords the indefatigable a chance of putting off & couple more front seatsi But I must to earth again. I have had enough of the heavens for one afternoon, and must trot around to see that our bills are well displayed. The vastness of the universe indeed ! why, it's nothing to the vastness of the du* ties of an indefatigable R. S. SmythvK Hallo! What's this? Why tliffc* door's locked ! (Knocks.) Hi ? .hallo ! Kola ! (Knocks again and trys to burst the door in.) Good gracious ! it's past five o'clock, and I suppose all the work* men and officials have gone. I shall be compelled to roost here all night* Oh, Lord ! Proctor will be taken round and treated to innumerable drinks, in which I cannot share. Gushing, admirers will ask him into Carton's to smile, and I shall not join in the smile. Smile, though I shall not be near thee, "Shout," though I shall never hear thee. " Shout 1" I wish I could, shout loud enough to make someone hear-, me. I shall have, to perch heTe until-nrorning, communing.--with other worlds 1 than ours, Other worlds than ours 1 Bah ! They're right enough, when .Proctor's at 'em with a full house, arid[the Injete* fati~a'ble's eyes is on4s§>jnoney.-takori j hut here I—ugh 1- perish; with the cold. This is , certainly an aspect of the vastness of trbafc Ido not look for ward t6.' : "" - ' : V. ~ ; It's useless knocking, Useless attempting to break the door. Nature never framed me fqiv.a Heroulcs '■ /br if she did, it. was as,a pocket edition,to be wondered at but n.pt:exercised. ,V: Peri haps I can attract the attention of some \, one in the grounds. parapet.) Hi! You 1 There's a man looks around, He/titMra me, but alas he does not see trie. JFor the first time in my life I regret that I, was not bigger. A little- man has' ii deal to contend; with in thia L: -worldV It may be different in other worlds than ours, but in the vastness of the universe, five feet nothing isn't much to look at, even when it's five feet of indefatigable. Coo-ee-ee-ee 1 I shall burst a blood-vessel if this goes .on much longer. Ah ! there—he sees me at last. (Shouting) I want to comedown. (Well, come down, stupid, can't you 1) How am Ito come down!. (Jump down!) Jump down? Con* found the man, does he think that I am oue of the heavenly bodies, that I can skip through space like a shooting star? Does he suppose that because I'm an astronomer's indefatigable I must be a comet 1 Come down ? I should think I would come down, an unrecognisable and iudefatigable heap. I'd very soon. get a practical acquaintance with another world than ours—possibly with one that hasn't yet reached the cooling stage. Ha ! footsteps ! There's some-. body on the staircase iuside ! Saved I Saved ! (Rushes to door and knocks.) (Voice within : "Who's there V) It is Jj m y good man ; I have been locked out on the roof and want to get down. (Voice within : " Can't open the doors after they're locked for the night. Mr Vale's orders are peremptory !") Ah—• happy thought, I shall pass myself off as Vale. (Disguising his voice.) But I am Mr Vale himself, and must get down, so unlock the door if you please. (Voice within :• "It won't wash. You're not Vale, if you say 'if you please 1 to an official inferior, although mentally and socially a superior. Vale does not . speak to ire in that tone. He couldn'this biliary secretions and his '.heddica. tion ' won't allow hiai to. Farewell.") He's gone, and I shall have to—Ah I another step. Now to profit by experience. (Speaking as if addressing a dog.) Hi, you fellow! Do you hear,"" *■ you scoundrel! I'm locked out on the . roof! Open the door, curse you! or. I'll—(Voice within: "It must be T the Treasurer of the Commissioners him-.;; self. Yes, sir—coming, sir.-—-'^