ONE OF JOHN PHŒNIX'S STORIES.

Kumara Times, Issue 1100, 9 April 1880, Page 3

ONE OF JOHN PHŒNIX'S STORIES.

Out in a certain Western, fort, some time ago, the major conceived that artillery must be nsed effectively in fighting the Indians by dispensing with gun carriages and fastening the cannon, upon the backs of mules. So he explained his views to the commandant, and it was determined to try the experiment. A howitzer was selected and strapped upon an ambulance r mule, with the muzzle pointing towards the tail. When they had secured the gun and loaded it with ball cartridge, they led Che qxlra and steadfast mule out on the bluff and set up a target ia the river, to practice at. The rear of the mule was turned towards the target, and he Was backed gently up to the edge of the bluff. The officers stood aroud in a semicircle, while the major went up and inserted a time-fuse in the vent of the howitzer. When the fuse was ready, the major lit it and retired. In a minute or two, the hitherto unruffled mule heard the fizzing back on his neck, and it made him uneasy. He reached his head around to ascertain what was going on, and as he did so his body turned, and the howitzer began to sweep around the horizon. The mule at last became excited, and his cariosity became more and more intense. In a second or two, he was standing with his four legs in a bunch, making six revolutions per minute, and the howitzer threatening sudden death to every man within half a mile. The commandant was observed to climb suddenly up a tree ; officers were seen sliding over the bluff into the river, as they did’nt care at all about the high price of uniforms; the adjutant made good time towards the fort; a sergeant began to throw up breastworks with his bayonet; the major rolled over and groaned. In a minute ox* two there was a puff of smoke and a dull thud, and a mule—oh ! where was he 1 A solitary brute might have been seen turning successful back-somersaults over the bluff, only to rest at anchor finally with his howitzer at the bottom of the river, while the ball went off towards the fort, hit the chimney in the major’s quarters, rattling the adobe bricks dowa into the f arlour, and frightening the major’s «ife into convulsions. They do not nde to it now, and no report of the result of the experiment was ever sent to the War Department. For remainder of news see last page.