THE LOITERER IN KUMARA.

Kumara Times, Issue 484, 15 April 1878, Page 2

THE LOITERER IN KUMARA.

l * EESTINA, VESTS.’! ■ ■

In connection • wifcH ' that altogether very fishy .transaction, the stocking of thft TfM-piriiikan "Rjvrr •" :< - t - I am iufdrrned on excellent aiitlibrity that the Greymouth Commissioners will not entertain a reqnest that another thousand or two should be granted for the purpose..of distributing them in Quinn's Creek. Those of the burgesses who know the exact.amount of money expended in-bringing the last lot from Grey mouth, and where;. fhat ; money went to,- will probably upt be sorry that so-called, acclimatisation is 'not to be permitted to run riot. , .'•■*.- Thehighest irrtellectual treats afforded , at somewhat uncertain periods, to the ] burgesses of Kumara fire the meetings of | the Borough Council, and at these I am j a tolerably regular attendant*-The fact | is that a mairwho has frequent occasion, j to write ordinary go'id.EngHsh requires r occasionally to refresh hrmself at a spring i whence flows a 'inguistic stream so pure J and undefih'd a* that to be found in the J Seddon-street chambers. My more im- | mediate object, however, in referring to I this subject is, without the slightest ap- : proach to chaff or double entendre, to : congratulate Cr. Haiman, who, in the j absence of the Mayor, occupied the chair :-t last meeting, upon the excellent mannor in which lie conducted the business. With more of Mr Hannan's tact, there would on ordinary occasions be i less time wasted. . A correspondent writes :—Thinking ! that Hennicke, when he was in Kuj mara, would give a prize for the best ! conundrum, I was preparing to c >m- ; pete; but now that he is gone, I send you my lot to do as you like with j them : j 1 Why is Pat, waiting on .Biddy, like the j i Teremakau I— Because it's waiting on its > ,bridg(y)et. j What is the difference between a popular divine lately in Kumara and his organist?—Because the one meddles with pedals, and the other peddles with medals. Why. may we expect emigration from Kumara to America ?—Because some of ' our townspeople like to try the Pacific slope. In what respect may Kumara be reckoned a perfect Bethel?— Because there I are many stones in that place. Why may the Ebwke3 B.iy cave rank ! as the greatest tiling of the kind known ? Because the mammoth cave of Kentucky used to be considered something of a cell, but this is a greater sell. "'/'*' ! Why do the psaple of Kumara relish i the Times so much ?—Because every even- I ing they get Brown scouae seasoned with • an onion.. • | My friimd Hark Joe ha 1 on • to give, but imfortu.,atuly he hasn't got the <tu-

awer to it. Now that Hennicke has. hjft, ho wants to propound it to you? jjeaders. He very seriously aska, consulting at the same time a yellow poster, ." Who was it that discovered the nineteenth centiirry ?" Wfe laughed at this, but Joe swears " By Ghollah, it can be 'swolved.'" .If ihat was the ewe, I thought I nxiglit as v|ell have a try at if, nn<l after.thinking oyer the matter, I ciuld uot thjnk.whp it might be, unless perhaps the historian. What do <you think;, yourself ? Delaware Ja< k, one ofouj, mates, who is a man of experience Jnd. has seen lietter days than working ajtucker claim, who, in fact, has been a member of the Comity Council, luw, I. .believe, been a town clerk, (I, know at any Tate he has the remains, of an ; old. white bell-topper in his hut), has been a patent medicine man, advertised the ''Phromium tenax snß|>endiuni" as h« called it, (which in plain English means that when all other cases fail you can take a blade of lax and hhng yourself, the wraation being .all-the pleasanter if down on a encalyptns globulus), has run a religious newspaper, taken advantage of the new Bankruptcy Aci,. and, in fact, has sounded all the depths and shoals of—(I was going to say but I will qualify that assertion and say he has never practised)—law on,. ; tbe Coast, nor resided permanently in-Ross. This Delaware Jack, who, in addition to all that, has read the Municipal Act, and knows all the requirements of a "borough," reckons the nineteenth century aint found pufc yet.