Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

Kumara Times, Issue 287, 5 September 1877, Page 3

Breaches of Promise o£ Carriage are generally made* by men who bave a lot•of sense. They are hsuhllv made in ithw way man says to a woman, "sFine 4ay." She Baye, "Yes how jfinel" He says do you like to listen to music while you eat strawberries ?" She gays ""jOh yes.!" He says " How is <6very one you know i" This makes her ■weep «nd say, " How kind you are tojday.l I never waa so much affected. How-dearly I should like to be asked •every day how -every one is that I lknow." v He says " Pray don't weep. !People.Jina : y notice It. If you like I ahalLask you every day I see you tow •every ooeds whom you know. On. days 2 don't see yon I shall write a postcard •with fiie on it." She says Thank you very much. I cannot answer the question until I see mamma. If yon wish you can ask papa." For two '©r thuee days he always asks her how every; one is, and then the first ■day he neglects making the inquiry /every-one calls him ;a heartless acoun<drel.j and some virtuous attorney, a friend of the family demands a thousand pounds of hini for the agony he tad caused "her. When he refuses paying money on the this is a Breach •of Promise of Marriage,—Emanuel Kirk.

A. Chinese physician says that in a •case ef nightmare,,instead of awakening ike sleeper by bringing a light, you should •' bite his tee. 1 This is a very simple remedy—at least Mrs Poppleton thought bo, for she treasured the receipt «p in <»e of the chambers of her memory, and the other night when Pop. pleton was seized with a two horsepower night-mare, seventeen hands high and in a ghostly voice muttered Cwhowwoh 1 Ughughughnhu ! as if a circus elephant was performing tricks on his stomach, she quietly slid to the foot of the "bed, and was in tib.e act of seizing his big toe in her teeth, when the dreamer gave a vigorous kisk, and Mrs Poppleton was shot over the tail board •of the bed on to the floor, with four of" her teeth half way down her throat. The noise awakened Poppleton, and hearing his wife screaming at the rate of forty knots an hour, he thought no less than ten thousad masked burglars were in the room, and without striking a light he sewed a chair fand wildly struck right and left all over the room, nearly brainine Mrs Poppleton before he discovered the true state of affairs. It was a terrible mistake, and Mrs Poppleton was laid vip two weeks and five days, and the first thing she did when she recovered sufficient strength was to smash 175 dollars' worth of Chinese curiosities she had purchased at the Centennial, and she says if she was a man she would go to China and not return home until she had split open that physician from figure-head to rudder, or words to that effect. Poppleton enjoys the nightmare as of jore without wifely interference. Pafcti is to embrace the Greek religion- " Detroit Free Press." Don't we wish we were the Greek religion.— " Boston Globe." «

A witty Fiench lady who was an " adopted" muniber of a famous military corps, when a cigar was lighted in her presence with the remark, " I suppose they smok;e in your regiment," said £Yes, but aofc in my company." j