MISCELLANEOUS.

Kumara Times, Issue 238, 10 July 1877, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

.A remarkable piece of coral tak<r: °* the submarine cable near Port Darwin, is spoken of hv the "Cooktown Herald". It is of the ordinary species about fire inches in height,, six inches diameter at the top and about two inchea at the base • It is perfectly formed and the base bears the distinct impression of the cable and a few fibres of the coir rope used as a sheath for the telegraph wire are still adhering to it. As the cable has been laid only four years it is evident that this specimen must have grown- to its present height in that time, which seems to prove that the growth of coral is much more rapid than our scientific men have hitherto admitted. This rapid growth may account for the new coral reefs that are constantly being discovered off our coast and in the coral seas.

" Bridget, I told you to let rae have my hot water the first thing this morning." " Slnire, sir said Bridget, "didn't I bring it up and leave it at the dure last night, so as to have it in time V Mary Ellen says that she knows what she is talking about, and that it just doubles the value of a kiss to have to burrow for It under a big moustache.

Thjiiodore Tilton makes"no more mis takeaf'fih 'sleeping cars. He carries a red wbllen shirt around with him to pin on the curtains of his berth as a guideboard.

A Connecticut girl married a Chinaman to spite her mother, but after the third thrashing she returned home to spite the Chinaman.

" Let, me," said Mr Mocdy when he opened in Boston, " call yoar attention to a book called the Holy Bible." Several of his hearers Went home and found they had one.

The dear creatures can talk only in terms of dry goods. Miss Eastman, in her. Boston speech on woman's • suffrage) used the simile: "Eyes as bright aa buttons on angels' underclothing." " Jamie, how's your church ,going on?" "Not so well. There's na ane belangs 'cept me and Brother Sandy, and I'm thinking he's na orthodox and must, be put out." " Jane, what letter in the alphabet do you like beat?" " Well, I don't like to say, Mr Snobb." "Pooh! tell right out, Jane. Which do you like best f "Well, (hlnshingand dropping her eyes), I like (u) the best." .

A would be school teacher, in Toledo, replied to a question by one of the examiners, "Do you think the world is round or fiat V by saying, " Well, some people think one way and some another,

and I'll teach them round or flat, just as their parents please." A man who was reprimanded by a divine for swearing, said he did not see any harm in it. "No harm in it," replied the minister. "Why, do "you

know the eommandment, 'Swear not at all V "I do not swear at all," said the man, " I only swear at those who annoy me."

"Now is the lime for husking bees, shouts an enthusiastic exchange. All right if anyone wanted to husk a beehq, caDdoso. We don't. K ;

The Marquis of Bute has taken the ground floor of the Villa-Arson for the season" What a delightful residence. Is there a YiUa-Maxi? slaughter, 01 a Villa-Atrocities in the neighborhood ? If so, we should like to offer it to Benjamin as his portion. He will require a snug retreat very soon.

Frugality is good if liberality be joined with it. The first is leaving off all superflous expenses; the last bestowing to the benefit of others that need. ThV first without the last begins covetousness; the last without the first begins prodigality, Bosh, together make an excellent temper. Happy the place where that is fonnd. ••'':■- • ! - ;

Dialogue between two Lowlanl Scotchmen, a farmer and a tradesman*The farmer takes up a fabric, and the** following questions and answers ensue ; f "Oo T> " Ay, oo." «Ah oar "Ay, ah oo V 'Ah ae 00/ «Ay, ah ae 00.' That I is *« Wool f " Yes, wool." " All wool tf "Yes, all wool," "AU ofie wool?' " Yes, all one wool." •"••■>■ * Yes," he said dreamily, "we are always striving for a subjective goal. Unconsciously, it may be, bnt still we strive. We lean upon the verge of the infinite, longing to grasp its mysteries, and lost in the profundity of its immensity." Yes," ehejreplied thought-, fully; "but, John, would-you mind my putting a brown patch on those old duck pants of yours ?"•'.'; » The. Liverpool Mercury says that tne White House at Washington will scarcely : know itself again, ■ General Grant scarcely ever had a cigar out of bis mouth* but Mr Hayes never smokes,' at all. Moreover, he is a staunch teetotaler. He has great nerve and immense calmness of temper, so thai throughout the whole o£ the exciting time, he never showed either elation or depression. ? .■■*■.. v ... - He was sitting silently,'by fyer side one clfiilly. thinking of .something to say. Finaltjr Jxe remarked: " How sad it is; the froa&.haa. come, and it will kill everything. /green;* Thereupon the young lady e; itended her hand, and said in a sympathetic tone—i "Good-bye."., • ~ . ~ , v White Dr jSchliemanh islxsondiicttnif the excavations entirely ftt >ia* r oj«§ expense he derives uo.beUefit fr6m i&en£ save honor and gldry.: 'Tn.a the King of Greece he. _ treasure is-alone tojSllalarge museum, which will be the most splendid iu the wods abU which succeeding ages will attract to i -Greece\ thousands of strangers from §yerj land; As I am labouring f?dm'a simple love of'.. science, J, .'waive allclaimto with intense to Greece. Sire, may these treajfttresv with God's blessing* becomethecornerstone of inuneiise national

There are young men who Cannothold a skein of yam for their mother* without, wincing, but .will hold 125 pounds of a neighbouring family for the best part of the night, with a patience and docility that are certainly phenomenal.

An experienced lady observed, that a good way to; pick out a hasbandjis tp see how patiently he; waits for dinner when she;is behind time.'Her.hosband remarked that a good ;wav-to pick out a wife is to sje whether woman has dinner ready in..time,.

According to a well-inown physician, "it is dangerous to go after a hearty meal," And iijWOud a very fishy one a man, would.geiif did go in after one. . ; , .

To have a pretty girl to open the front door and mistake yon for h<r cousin. More delicious.—To have her remain deceived till she has kissed you twice, and hugged the buttons -of your coat, exclaiming, " Ma, hepe's Charles." Most delicious.—To favour the mistake until the young lady discovers it herself, and have a big brother come along the entry, catch you by the collar, half shake the life out of you, and ask you what are yon doing with his sister,- with an agreeable hint at immediate satisfaction-