More or Less Topical.

Kawhia Settler and Raglan Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 375, 14 August 1908, Page 2

More or Less Topical.

[By Hoho ] Tbe American Fleet baa come, at d by the time some of my readers see thia will have gone. Auckland went mad and gave the vi i or* a he'.rty welcome. The onwd wont mad mad with rage—at waiting t•» tbe procession, but which proved to bo ; few tramcare and carriages, the only prisons to get a hearty cheer being Mahuta and party, who were attired in native costume. The procession was a farce.

Contrary to expectations the sailors were uot prohibitionists, and notwith standing a request from the Admiral ■hat liquor rbould be withheld from them a good percentage seemed to get rather merry. But they were a good tempered lot, their behaviour being of the best. A grand welcome was ar tanged by the Prohibitionist party, but only 20 of tbe visitors attended I

Talking about Prohibition reminds me that I quite recently noticed a startling pitce of information in tbe Manchester Chronicle, which paper proclaims tbe glad news that there is in stock en uigh whisky to last tbe whole world fur five year.*, even if no more were ‘distilled iu tbe meantime. This new? should cheer tbe hearts of anti-Prohibitionists.

There is one thing that most c mn try reporters exes! at—a tip-top hc c >no6 at a local concert. (Example ; Miss ha* a beautiful, mellow contralto ; Onr old favourite Mr was in excellent voice; Tbe gem of the evening was Mrs ; etc} Quite recently a minstrel concert was held at Raglan, tbo following being portion of the report :—A ‘ masculine and canine ’ duet, with mandolin accompaniment, by ‘ Baggs ’ and his dog, was exceedingly clever, especially on the part of (be dog.” What I would like to know is whether ‘ Buggs ” took this as a compliment or otherwise ? Last week, Mr Editor, I noticed a paragraph in your paper staling that some person had disfigured one of our cl erished three lamp post?, and also notifying that the police were on the alert. Almost everyone knows that our one and only police officer is doing duty iu Auckland, aud perhaps that is why the posts have been tampered with again. Once they were things of beauty, with their coat of red, but now —in?tbvnks ih-y nave g.ue into mousing the absent iu upiighter Even the po3r ladder his had its appearance altered.

I know of many intellectual people in this neighbourhood who find it diffi cult to obtain reading matter to suit their varied tastes, and no doubt this is a great inconvenience. However, i the Government, as usual, have come to the assistance of tbesi unfortunates, it having been notified that upon p-iy ment of the trifling sum uf 5s Hansard for the whole session will be posted. What a magnificent offer I Could anything be nicer than a few pages of Sir Joseph Ward’s figures after a hard days bushwhacking, or even reading, some of the many nice things that ; re to be dona for the “ backblock settlers, the stalwart pioneer*, tbe backbone of the country ” while waiting for a packbore t' fl‘'nuJ»r oub of a ° T think not.

EiccMu-i ume will som be witta os; the following joke that I once heard may not be out of place : Talkington, the member, was visiting bis constituency, aud was, of course, affable to everyone, reminding hi* friend* in a casual way of all that be had done for the district—aud incidentally for the colony (New Zealand was not a Dominion then) as well. While bis friends were round him in the street a local Maori celebrity came along, “ Hullo, /’ said the great man. “ How you like to be one member of Parliament, eh ?” “ Oh, I do’nt know; I know care werry much,” said the native, who plays a rattling game of billiards, and is locally credited with a a fine sense of humour. “ She weery good man sometime. Ail same old piano, play diff-ent tune diffrent people.” Whilst walking along tbe street tbe other day day I picked up an envelope addressed ‘ Teddy Washer, Kawhia,” which struck me as being a particularly g »od way of sending a letter to Mr E. C. Fab asser. Oparau has secured tbe lead of tbe places around the Kawhia Harb ur, as tbe other day two Chinamen arrived there to work or a section. These in divid <al* should be warned that there is a Terry living in the locality.