General Items.

Kawhia Settler and Raglan Advertiser, Volume IV, Issue 352, 6 March 1908, Page 2

General Items.

Don’t forget that good printing cap be done at tbe Settlsb Office Prague possess a newspaper called the Bachelor, which frequently publishes articles satirising women. From the tbe same office there is now issued a paper called the Maid. One staff rune both. |The half-back was helped to his feet amid the cheers of the crowd. He looked dazed, bat managed to ask—- “ Who kicked me ?” “It’s all right,” cheerily said the captain, “it’s a foai.” “A fowl, indeed,” echoed the half-back *‘l thought it was a male.” A new policeman iu a Scottish town was arresting an old reprobate for having imbibed too freely, and on arriving at the police station told his prisoner to “miud ihe step.” “G’w«, ; man,” said fhe hilsriooa one, “I kent (bat step afore you w*s born. - ’

Mr John D. Rockfelier, who nrewo-

ted Chicago University with £600,000 last New Year, bus given r te University a further sum of £433,000, nave the Central News. I’he “Oil King’s” total monetary banefacuon to tne University now amount, to £4 878,000.

At a political meeting in New York a witty and eloquent Irishman wa, re ferriog in tbe coarse of his speech to the changing seasons. Somabody asked why he spoke of a season as “she.” “Sure” he replied, ” It's because the’re ho changeable and no matter which ye hive ye want another.” Our Manawarn correspondent writes:—The Liberal cmdidite fur the Taarauga electorate will tied he has a very bard row to hoe if the pupils of tbe Manawarn School are any Criterion. At a mock elec'ion in connection with civic man nation the pupils of Standards IV., V. and VI. had a choice between Herries and Young. The voting resulted —Herries 39, Young o.—Argus Teachers, no less parents, often re ceive curious answers from childre. The following story is told of a lad in a geography class, who was deeply interested in ihepoints of the compass. Said the teacher: “You have in front of you the north, on your right the east, and on your left the west. What have you behind you?” After a few minutes reflection, Charlio exclaimed : “A patch on my trousers.”

Madame Isa Bell, a native of Victoria, desires to put forward a sporting challerige that she will race any woman in Aas'ra asia any stipulated distance, for the gatd money and a side stake up to a reasonable sum The challenger desires a race to carry with it the title of “champion woman runner of Australia,” and should her challenge not be taken up she will claim this title for herself without farther to-do. Madame Isa Bell who io private life is Mrs Thos. Newmau, and a mother of five children, claims that she has never yet been beaten ia a race.

A correspondent brings under our notice the wonderful sagacity of a native dog at Maungatautari. Some grass had caught fire and tbe canineiu order to attract the attention of some workmen, commenced to bark loudly. No particular notice was taken of the animal until a while after, when it was observed to plunge into a creek and afterwards shake itself near tbe fire. It repeated this perfurmauce several times and there is no doubt, we are assured, that by so doing it prevented the fire. Yes we have the phrase.

“As cunning as a Maori dog,” batpass the salt.—Cambridge Independent.

A good deal of interest has been taken by the public in tbe proposed enquiry into the management of the Waikato Hospital, which was set down for, last week and many were looking forward to some iutereeang developments. In this respect however they wi)l be disappointed, as Nurse Dayis failed to appear to substantiate her charges, and the whole thing collapsed. On the motion of the Chairman it was decided to appoint a small cammittee to revise the rules of the institution, and on the motion of Mr Somers, the board expressed its explicit confi denoe in the management of Mr Douglas and the matron.—Times. An Eketahuna young man got rather a shock the other day when attempting to demonstrate to a friend that soaking a soiled pound note in methylated spirits and applying a match lo it would effectually clean it. The operation proceeded satisfactorily up to a certain point, but suddenly he found that the cleaning was too effectual—the note as well as the grime began to disappear. There was a wild scramble and the timely requisition of a hat, which was used with good effect saved that young man from being poorer by the sum of 20s. He is now contented, says the Express, to carry dirty notes wi-hout attempting to Olean

A sailor’s view of Socialism: On a recent Sunday evening during the time when some of the ship’s of tbe Australian squadron ware in port at Lyttelton, several men off the warships were standing listening to a Socialist orator iu Christchurch. They were approached by on? of vhe supporters of Socialism and asked their opinion of it, but before giving it they asked for an explanation f the aims and objects of Socialism. They were told that it meant shortening the hours of labour and generally of pulling tbe mighty from their seats, and tbe exalting of those nf low degree. “Than,” said ooeof the sailors, “the captain and the first rua’e would be sent to the stoke bole and the engineers and stokers would be put on tbe bridge. Let me tell you that if this was done the ship would be on tbe rocks iu no time.”

SMOKERS, PLEASE NOTE.— The famous DERBY To backo is now sold in TWO OUNCE TIRE, FLAKE CUT. Try it.