THE STORY READER'S GEOGRAPHY.

King Country Chronicle, Volume VI, Issue 498, 7 September 1912, Page 7

THE STORY READER'S GEOGRAPHY.

SCOTLAND. Q.—What, have you learned about the geography of Scotland ? A. —Scotland is a small, mountainous country in the same part of the globe as its tributary kingdom, England. The country is covered with heather, burns, locks, scones, and pibroches. A few bawbees are to be found there, but not in sufficient quantities to repay extraction. The country, as I have said, is close to England, and close as regards everything else. Scotland has been called the Land of Cakes, and rightly 'so, for few of its inhabitants fail to bring back the cakes when they return from abroad. Q.—What do you know of the people ? A.—The majority of the inhabitants are Scottish. Those that arc -not Scottish are working for the others. The greater part of the Scottish population is seldom in Scotland, but may be readily found, as someone has said, by shouting "Mac !" clown the engine-room hatch of any steamship. The Scottish people are a hard-headed race and care little for poetry, unless it bears the O. K. of Bobbie Burns, when th'fcy will sing it until the crowd —or the mountain dew —becomes exhausted.

Q. —What is the broadest part of Scotland ? A.—The accent.

Q. —What are the principal exports ? A.—Andrew Carnegie, Harry Lauder, the surplus whisky, bagpipes, and anything else the natives don't want.

Q.—What is the food of the people ? A. —Oatmeal and anscdotes.

Q. —Which is the more sustaining ?

A. —Ac a rule, a Scottish anecdote would last the ordinary person a much longer time than would any quantity of oatmeal. Q. —What is the national garb of old Gaul? A—Kilts.

Q. —Do you know why the natives wear kilts.

A. —They feared that if they wore trousers some Snrsiii-ch would steal them.

Q.—Do you think their fears are justified ? A. —Observation inclines me to think that the Sasseuach would be in most danger. Q.— What is the "Border" ?

A. —The boundary country between England and Scotland was so called. Once in a while the English would make a raid across the Border and steal back some cattle the Scots had previously lifted. This rendered the Border an extremely unprofitable country in which to raise cattle. Q.—How did the bagpipes orininite?

A.—ln an effort to imitate the growl of the wildcat, the badge of the Clan Chattan.

Q. —Was the effort successful ? A.—There isn't a wildcat left in Scotland to-day.