Page 7 Advertisements Column 3

King Country Chronicle, Volume VI, Issue 465, 15 May 1912, Page 7

THE TAP TEST. Proudly the attendant at the country home for the Mentally Defective showed the band of visiters over th: premises. Everything the heart could desire was there —a gymnasium, billiard-room, smoking even a cricket club, which toured the country under the title of "The Wanderers." "And this, gents," said the attendant, opening the bath-room door, "is where we test 'em to see if they're lit to let out.' "Oh; and how do you do that?" inquired one of the party. "W'y, sir," explained the official, "we jest turn the bath tap full on, give 'em a bucket, and tell 'em to bail the water- out." "Still," pursued the perplexed gentleman, "I don't sec how that tests them." "Don't yer, sir ?" returned the attendant, with some contempt. "W'y, them as ain't barmy turns the water off, of course !" THE RULING PASSION. Here is a storyette a':o - it a dying man. This time an editor. Fortunately, it is not the oditor of this paper. Anyhow, this editor lay sick unto death, as they say. For hours ha had not moved, and the doctor was holding his hand, a grave—not to mention graveyard—look upen his face. "I fear he cannot last much longer now," murmured the M.D., gazing rn the white, motionless features, and addressing the prospective widow. The sick man closed his eyes. "His circulation is so very poor," added the physician. "Liar !" yelled the editor, suddenly struggling frantically to rise. "'Our circulation is seventeen times as great as that of any threepenny pa.per in the " But the effort was too much foi him. With a serene smile of satisfaction upon his countenance, he sanV back, and died. IN THE DARK. The fellow who tries to attract business without advertising is like the young man who throws his sweetheart a silent kiss in the dark He knows what lie is doing—hut nc one else does.—"Saturday Magazine.'