NOTHING SERIOUS.

King Country Chronicle, Volume V, Issue 382, 29 July 1911, Page 7

NOTHING SERIOUS.

Even the simplest law transactions seem to be beyond the comprehension of some people. An old farmer went into a grocer's shop a short time ago, ordered a sovereign's worth of goods, and, when they were rea,dy for delivery, laid down a fiveshilling piece in payment thereof. The shopkeeper called out, "Here, this isn't right," as the customer started to leave.

"Oh, yes, that's all right," replied the man ; "I've got. permission from the judge to pay five shillings in the pound."

A heated discussion revealed that the man had lately settled an insolvency upon this basis, and expected to continue that method indefinitely. When he was shown his mistake he was very indignant, and evidently considered himself a much-abused man. Boggs and his girl were on the way to Sli'therham to spend a day's holiday. "Will you have a little refreshment ?" said Boggs to Maria. "A little sherry and a bit of chicken," said he, looking as if he were used to having chicken and sherry every day of his life.

After some hesitation Maria said "ves."

Boggs reached down the lunch bag and proceeded to open the bottle, when, pop ! there was a loud report, and Boggs was smothered with what looked like home-made ginger beer. Boggs looked very nervous as he reached from the bag a parcel and, placing it in Maria's lap, said, "Help yourself, my dear." Maria looked at it, and then emptied it into Boggs's lap, saying, "Heat it yourself."

Boggs gave one glance at it, and nearly fainted : it consisted of thick chunks of bread with a plaster of jam, and the jam had spoiled his new summer trousers.

The passengers, when they could restrain their laughter, listened to poor Boggs's explanation. His landlady had given Boggs's chicken and sherry to her two boys in mistake, and had placed the boys' school lunch in Boggs's lunch bag.

Sir Douglas Straight, well known in London literary circles, once had a strange experience when he went into a shop to be shaved. As he sat in the chair he was much surprised to see that the lady in the outer shop kept peeping at him anxiously through the glass panel of ths door. He could not understand her behaviour at all until he got outside, when a policeman came up to him and said :

"I'm glad to find you've come out all right, sir." "Why ?" exclaimed Sir George in surprise. "What's the matter ? Is there anything wrong inside ?" "Well, you see," returned the policeman, "'the fact is, sir, that that barber came out of a lunatic asylum only last week, and his relatives are considering whether they will have him sent back again !"