WISE AND OTHERWISE.

King Country Chronicle, Volume V, Issue 358, 6 May 1911, Page 2

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

.An old philosopher who had two pupils one day gave each a sum of money, and told them to purchase something with it which should fill the room where they studdicd. One pupil bought a large quantity of hay and atraw. and the next morning he invited his master to see his room, which he had almost filled with the results of his purchase. "Ah ! very good, very good !" exclaimed the philosopher, and now, turning to the other pupil, he said, ',; Well, friend, what have you bought with your money ?" "A small lamp and some oil, which will fill the room with a light in the dark evening hours. This will enable us to continue our studies by night as well as by day, if we should so wish," replied the pupil. "You have made the best purchase," said the philosopher. A wiee pupil who profits by instruction, is the delight of the teaser. Alfred had just proposed, and thus the apple of his eye answered him : "Can you," she asked, "tell me the difference between a sigh, a motorcar, and a donkey, Alfred ?" "I'm sure I don't know," he returned, anxiously. "Well, you see," she said, "a sigh is 'oh, dear,' a motor-car is too Sear." Then she paused. "What about the donkey ?" asked Alfred, taking, but dreading, the plunge. "That's you, dear. You see, you're just twenty-four hours late. I accepted Charlie Goodenough yesterday evening." Now it is akin to holding a red flag to a bull to attempt to ask Alfred a conundrum. It was a case of love at first sight. They met, loved, and were married n an incredibly short time. "Forgive me, d-darling," sobbed the bride, as she fell somewhat excitedly on the bridegroom's neck ; "but I kept a s-secret from you. I :an't cook !" '"Oh, that'll be all right," replied the bridegroom, cheerfully. "I forgive you, because I'm a poet—consequently, tlnre won't be much that you'll have to cook !" The thin, little man whose mild interest it was to mul items out of the newspapers of an evening to his spouse laid down the "Westerham and ('ittlingtield Weekly Gazette and Pouitrykeeper," and adjusted his spectacles. Then he took the paper up again ami re-read the passage. His eyes had not dectdved him. '"There's nothing will stnp you women nowadays," he philosophised. "This paper says there is a woman down in Devonshire wdio goes out and chops trees with her hushaud." "Well, what of it ?" snapped his spouse, who was reading a "thriller." "She could easily do that if je's as thin as you ! I've often though i of using you to peel potatoes with, myself !" And then the thin man laid down his paper with u sigh that sounded dice the last gasp of a penny tin whistle, and sallied forth for a breath of fresh air at the Pig and Whistle. If a cow weighing 10001b can consume 301b of hay daily she should produce in the neighbourhood of 251b of milk (says an American paper).