WISE AND OTHERWISE.

King Country Chronicle, Volume V, Issue 348, 29 March 1911, Page 2

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

There are few things more provoking to the average individual than to be "cut" by an acquaintance. According to latest authority, we have it that there are four sorts of "cuts." There is the "cut direct," w 7 hich consists in staring an acquaintance in the face and pretending not to know hirn,; then comes the "cut direct," when you look another way, and, of course, have not seen him ; the "cut sublime," when the top of some tall edifice or the clouds of heaven make an irresistible appeal to you ; and lastly, the "cut infernal," when you stoop and adjust your boots until the person has gone past. Some young brides take the married state seriously indeed, and little Mrs. Nixon is of this order. She was not a good cook, and she knew it, but after marriage she studied at a cookery-class to such good effect that in due course she carried off a diploma. "Yes," she said enthusiastically that evening ; "I've got the loveliest diploma ! It's on sheepskin parchment, with a big red seal. And just in honour of the occasion I cooked that dish you're eating now. It's my own idea entirely. Now, just you guess what it is !" Nixon went on masticating in silence for a moment. Then he looked up with a wry grin. "I don't know," he said, knowingly. "Is it —er—is it the diploma?" Dr. Cavers gives an interesting illustration of the strength of the toadstool : "Some years ago," he says, "the main streets of Basingstoke were paved with large stones, and a few months later the pavement showed an unevenness which could not easily be accounted for at first. The mystery was soon explained, for some of the heaviest stones, weighing over eighty pounds, were completely lifted out of their bed of cement by the growth of large toadstools below them, and it became necessary to repave the town." —From "The Cook of Nature Study." Sunday-school Teacher : " What Was Adam's punishment for eating the forbidden fruit, Johnnie ?" Johnnie (confidently) : "He had to marry Eve." "What was that sentence the choir repeated so often during the Litany ?" "As near as I could make out it was, 'We are all miscrablo singers.' " Those earnest men who upward climb leave foot prints in the sands of timcf, nor is success for them complete unless they master some great, feat.

Out of the frying-pan into the tire is a state of affairs most dreadfully dire ; lr.it if you'd keep out of the fire, the plan is not to get into.the frying-pan. "Mr. Chapman," began the man who is unaccustomed to public speaking, "I—er —l—cr—ler " • "Well," interrupted the chairman, kindly, "to err is human." "I like to see a man take an interest in his work." "So do I. I klifw a policeman who was so enthusiastic that It positively pained him to see anybody out of gaol."