FUN AND FANCY.

King Country Chronicle, Volume IV, Issue 221, 4 January 1909, Page 5

FUN AND FANCY.

Be: How is it you arc always out when I call? She: Just luck.

Poetry is the art of patting words together in sach a way as to give them their least possible commercial value.

A man learns to ck» by doing, remarked the moral iscr. Yes, rejoined the demoraliser, and also by being done.

Why, Tommy, bow you do grow! Yes, Aantie, I think they water me too much. Why, I'm bathed night and morning. Six feet in bis boots! exclaimed old Mr Flathron. Nonsense! Why, they might as well tell me that the man has six heads in his hat. Irate Lady: The difference between a cow and a milkman is that the cow gives pure milk. Milkman: Yes mum, bat the cow don't give credit.

Mrs Hix: I don't take any stock in these fatth cures brought about by the laying on of hands. Mrs Dix: Well, I do. I cured my little boys of the cigarette habit that way.

Mary Jane to gentleman with bow legs, who has called to see her master; Forr 'eving's sake, sir, do stand back from the tire; your legs is warping most 'orrible.

It was on an ocean steamer, and the weather was pretty rough. Could you keep a secret? he whimpered. lam not quite sure about my being able to keep anything more, she replied doubtfully.

Mrs Peck, contemptuously: What arc you. anyhow, man or a mouse? Mr Peck, bitterly: A man, my dear; if ( were only a mouse. I'd have you op on the tabic yelling for dear life right now! Young Hopeful: Did you ever notice that the matrimonial process is tike that of making a call? You go to adore, you ring a belle, and you give your name to a maid. Cynic: Yet, am) then you're taken in.